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Post by sunstar on Aug 4, 2009 21:33:18 GMT -8
This tale is being done to celebrate the birth of my first complete custom, Darklight. The Dark Rainbow is another name for the Rainbow of Darkness.
Darklight and her siblings were chosen by the guardians to protect the Rainbow of Darkness so that it can never be used by darkness. because of it's corrosive energy, it isn't long before Darklight and her siblings all sport black bodies and dark manes and tails. the only thing that stays bright is their symbols.
Darklight, an alicorn, is the oldest of her siblings and charged with the daunting task of taking care of her siblings and making sure the Rainbow of Darkness stays well below detection by dark beings.
Dark Beauty, a summerwing, is the second oldest. She has the duty of watching the shadows for anything trying to get close to the dark Rainbow.
Dark Knight a male unicorn, is the third oldest of his siblings. His duty is to destroy anything that attempts to touch the power of the Dark Rainbow.
Dark Rain. a battle scared unicorn without a horn, is the fourth oldest of her siblings. Like Dark Knight, She has the power to destroy, but because she doesn't have a horn, her power is weaker then that of her older brother.
Dark Wind and Dark Storm are twin pegasi. Dark Wind is female while Dark Storm is male. their job is to keep the darkness in the sky away from the Dark Rainbow. they are identical, right down to the symbols. they are also the youngest of the dark siblings.
The Guardians, worried that the Dark Rainbow might fall into the wrong hooves, decided to search for a family to protect it. They searched for many years until they found the dark siblings. they agreed to serve the Guardians by protecting the Dark Heart because they knew what could be unleashed within the Dark Rainbow. There was a terrible battle to wrest it out of the hands of evil in which Dark Rain received her scars and lost her horn. She was also the first one to handle the Dark Rainbow, which in thanks, healed her injuries but because it's power was so diluted, it could not erase her scars or return her horn. They hid it away deep inside a mountain where they now live.
She stood, wings opened, letting the sun warm her dark body. As usual, she was the first one up. The sun was just peaking up over the distant ocean, where she could see the first fishing boats heading out to sea. below her, a herd of wild ones gazed on the lush grasses of the valley floor. The wild ones were larger then regular ponies with long slender legs. They were all usually earthlings, with the exception of a unicorn herd up in the far north, and a pegasi herd that lived in the clouds. there was a rumor of a herd of winged unicorns sighted somewhere south. Dark Light sighed. it sucked sometimes, being the only winged unicorn around. Dark Wind and Dark Storm had each other, and Dark Knight still grieved with Dark Rain over the lost of her horn. then there was Dark Beauty, who couldn't care less about her dark colored butterfly wings. We both fly, she had once said, are we so different? It had been Dark Beauty who mastered the art of flying and taught her winged sisters and brother how to fly.
"I thought I would find you out here." Dark Knight stepped out of the cave.
"Knight." Dark Light said in greeting, "How was your watch?"
"Uneventful, as usual." Knight responded.
Dark Light looked back up at the still rising sun. A winged pony shape began to form in the light. Slowly, it revealed itself to have a horn. Dark Light watched it come closer. Soon, She could see dark golden fur and long blood red hair.
"It's the Radiant Lady Sunstar!" Knight cried out.
Sunstar seamed to be falling toward them.
"Somethings wrong! Alert Beauty!" Dark Light took flight and flew toward the falling Sunstar. upon closer expection, Sunstar looked like she had taken a rough beating. blood decorated her coat and her left wing hung frozen. Dark Light caught her on her back.
"Sunstar?" She called.
she got no answer.
"Sunstar?" She tried again, angling toward the cave opening. Beauty joined her, trying to determine what had happened the the Guardian now laying limp on her oldest sister's back. by now, Knight, Wind, Rain, and Storm had gathered at the opening. Sunstar gave a weak gasp.
"Protect... failed... Darkness coming..." She tried to talk.
"Shh, don't try to talk. let's get you patched up first." Beauty said, taking the lead and landing inside the cave. Dark Light landed, and let Sunstar slide off her back carefully. She curled up into fetal position and refused to be touched or tended to.
"I know it hurts, Sunstar." Dark Beauty gave up after a bit, "Can you tell us what happened?"
"Dark forces rising." came the reply, "the Guardians sleep... it's coming..." Her eyes began to close, "barely got here in one piece..." she slipped into unconciousness.
"What's happening, Dark Light?" Storm asked, "I'm scared! If this being was able to defeat the guardians, we won't even last against it!"
"Calm down. We don't even have a clue as to what happened yet. I am going to talk to the Dark Rainbow. Maybe it can shed some light on this." Dark Light rose and walked toward the back wall. this wall looked completely solid, until she passed right through it, revealing the fact it was a hollogram. several minutes later, She stood before the pulsing bag that was the Dark Rainbow.
"Anything?" she asked.
"I have not heard of a being capable of taking out the Guardians. This is worrisome." it pulsed.
"Isn't there anyone who might be able to say, knock out a guardian?" Dark Light tried.
"Besides myself, I can name two. Grogar, and Tirek. the witches and Lavan are not strong enough for something like this." the Rainbow responded.
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Post by sunstar on Aug 4, 2009 21:34:20 GMT -8
Chapter Two
He bolted out of bed, and rushed outside to the little pond where his step daughter, Ribbon, son, Cobalt, and daughter, Miracle, loved to play. a sleepy mares voice called softly after him. Sides heaving, he sank into the soft grass, staring at his reflection.
"Grogar? What is it?" Ribbons asked, coming to her mate. she was teal with green and red hair. Ribbon looked just like her. Cobalt had his fathers horns, but a more pony like body. his head was goat like and his hooves were goat like. Miracle looked just like her father, minus the horns except for her unicorn horn on her forehead.
"A darkness is coming." Grogar looked up to the sky, where a few small stars twinkled, "it is not good. I'm afraid for you and the children."
"Come back to bed." Ribbons nuzzled him as from within the house, a baby pony began to cry, "That's Miracle."
"Go to her. I'll come in a minute." Grogar looked back at his refection, and closed his eyes. He considered himself lucky, finding someone who loved him, who was willing to put up with his dark moods, and who had given him two beautiful children.
"Daddy?" came a sleepy child's voice. Ribbon.
He turned, "yes, love?"
"Scary dream." Ribbon snuggled into his long cobalt blue coat.
"It's okay, sweetie. Daddy had one too." he lightly rested his head on the baby pony's back, soothing her.
"Dark. can't find mommy, or you, daddy, or Cobalt, or Miracle." Ribbon said.
"I was dreaming I couldn't find you ether. Shall we go see if mommy needs help with Miracle?" Grogar led the baby pony back into the house. -----------------------------------------------------------------------
"She's in a deep sleep. I fear for the other Guardians. They aren't strong like her. Well, except for Galaxy that is. no one knows how strong she even is." Battlefield looked up, "You did the right thing, Dark Light."
"What ever did this to the Guardians has the Dark Rainbow worried." Dark Light said, watching as Battlefield, the only one outside her family she trusted, tended to Sunstar.
"I want to move her to Dream Castle where Majesty can help protect her." Battlefield decided, "She'll be safer there, and Wig Wam is there."
"I'll let you take her. Just promise to keep me updated on her condition." Dark Light forced a smile, "Let me know if you find anything." -------------------------------------------------------------------------
Majesty stood at her bedroom window, watching her subjects go about their day. they looked and acted so normal. a tear formed at the corner of her eye. She wished she didn't know what was coming. Yet she knew and she knew she couldn't stop it. It was moments like these that she resolved to fight. a scream erupted from a downstairs room, and Majesty winked out.
"Gusty! Minty! un hoof each other now!" Majesty ordered, appearing in the library where an enraged Gusty held Minty in a head lock.
"He started it by throwing a book at my horn!" Gusty shouted.
"She started it by creating a gust of wind that made me lose my place!" Minty managed to squeeze out of the head lock, but Gusty pounced on him again.
"That was the open window you clout!" Gusty screamed.
Majesty sighed. This was going to take a while. Thankfully, she was saved by commotion in the courtyard followed by shouts of she's a guardian! She winked out to the courtyard, where Battlefield was trying to worm through a crowd of onlookers gaping at what was on his back.
"Back up!" Majesty ordered, her tone firm, "Battlefield, what did the dark ones have to say about this, um, issue?" She finally got close enough to see the golden form of Sunstar, "My gods! That's Sunstar! Make way! Somebody go get Wigwam! Blossom, prepare a bed in my rooms!" that got things moving.
"My queen, you said in your rooms?" Blossom, pink with dark pink hair and her symbol of white flowers, asked.
"Yes. Sunstar is a very special pony in my life. I want her to be close to me." Seeing that Blossom wasn't buying the story, She said, "I fear that her malady may be magical in origin. I'm the only one who can help her through this. Just trust me." that got the pink mare moving.
30 minutes later, Sunstar was put on a bed in Majesty's rooms that had been brought down from an unused guest room. Wig Wam stood over her, listening and making notes on a chart. He straightened his back with an audible crack.
"She is fine physically other then some bruising on the flank, a minor dislocation of her left wing, and a slightly elevated temperature." Wig Wam said, "She shows no symptoms of any known sleeping sickness."
"I figured as much. Thanks, doctor." Majesty watched Wig Wam leave, "Sunstar stays under constant watch. I'll take the first watch."
"Should we send for the Moonchic?" this came from Bubbles, a yellow earthling with blue hair.
"No. This is not his battle. you may all go." Majesty drew up a chair and sat in it. Battlefield stayed with her.
"You'd still be dead if it weren't for her." Battlefield brought up.
"I know. So would you." Majesty turned to him, "I know who and what she is. By putting her here with me, she is in the safest part of the castle. I remember, all those years ago, when she was just a teen with life ahead of her. Majestica loved going to daycare because she would get to be Sunstar's helper. She begged to go everyday." Majesty took a deep breath, the tears suddenly coming, "I knew, even then, that this was coming! She's too young! We expected way too much of Sunstar!" her cries dissolved into broken sobs.
"Majesty." Battlefield put his arms around her, "Sunstar is no push over. we made sure of that. She is strong. There's more to this, isn't there?"
"Your Majesty! you have a visitor!" came Sparkler's voice, "I'll sit with her. he is waiting in the throne room. Battlefield, you better go too." Sparkler was a young unicorn mare with a teal body, purple and red hair, and ten diamonds as her symbol.
"Don't leave her for a second." Majesty stopped in her bathroom to make herself presentable again. Battlefield was the only one ever to see her cry. not even Nana, her grandma, had ever seen her cry. She winked down to the throne room, where Nana was waiting. Nana may be nearly ancient, but she still did her duties well. Majesty stopped in a side room to grab her royal blue princess hat. She hated wearing the thing. She tied it under her chin and laid the two ribbons, one pastel green, the other pastel pink, over each shoulder. She winked into the throne room, taking the tiny princess throne. Battlefield stood at attention on the lower step of the dais.
"Enter." Nana called, her voice strong despite her age.
the doors opened, and Battlefield stiffened, his hooves going for his Browning A5 semi-auto shotgun. In stepped Grogar. He walked past Battlefield, who looked like he wanted nothing more then to shove his Browning down Grogar's throat, and knelt before Nana.
"Queen Rosemary." This got a lot of gasps and jaw drops as very few ponies actually remembered Nana's name, "I come with grave news."
"You've sensed it too." Nana said.
it was a statement, not a question.
"I heard that the Guardians have fallen, leaving the Flow vulnerable. The Dark ones worry that they may be next. I know this darkness."
Nana nodded, "It's Triak, isn't it?"
Grogar could only nod, "He's gotten stronger."
"We have one Guardian here with us in an unshakable coma. do you know where the others are?" Nana asked.
"I didn't get there in time to stop him. I did manage to claim two of the Guardians." Grogar opened the pouch on his collar, "Unfortunately, They were reduced to this." he pulled out two small crystals, "I have Andromeda, and Bryon. I managed to shove Sunstar through a portal, but she was hit by the same magic that reduced the Guardians to crystals."
"This isn't good." Nana shook her head, "The others?"
"Tirak made off with at least one or two of the other guardians. the remaining two were lost." Grogar explained.
"But they can be found?" Nana pressed.
"Well, one is on the bottom of the ocean, and the other, I know went the opposite direction." Grogar said.
"Thanks for the update." Nana looked worried, "I'll send the mereponies and the seaponies out to find the one in the ocean. the other, I'll put Wind Whistler on it."
"Queen Rosemary, with your permission, may I move my family here until this crisis ends? Tirak may go after me next. I'd feel better knowing my family is safe." Grogar asked.
"Yes, you may." Nana watched Grogar leave.
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Post by sunstar on Feb 22, 2010 15:35:06 GMT -8
Anybody remember this story? here is the next chapter.
Chapter 3
High in the Blackhill Mountians, sat an imposing castle. the stones were black from the constant rain brought by the clouds that never let up. cloaked figures moved about in the rain, turning stones and searching for something, they too low on the totum pole to know exactly what. Some of these figures were pony like while others looked more human like.
In a dark throne room, Tirek was not happy. He had one crystal, Milky-Way. Standing before him, was Bray. Bray was trembling.
"We have not found any of the other crystals, the Dark Rainbow, or Sunstar. Grogar has two crystals." Bray reported, "We need more intel."
"Raven!" Tirek called.
Melting out of the shadows came a silver pegasus with a wolf tail, ears, and eyes. her coat was shaggy around her paws, which were shaped like a wolf paw. Her wings were black like a raven. her hair was grey ending in white. Raven smiled, "My lord calls?"
Raven, Your mission is to collect intel on the ponies. If you can, see if you can get Grogar's two crystals." Tirek ordered.
"Yes, my lord."Raven bowed, took wing, and flew out of the castle.
"Bray, double the search parties. I want those crystals found, and I want them found now!" Tirek ordered.
"Of course, Sire! we all want them found!" Bray bowed himself out of the throne room. Tirek stood, and sighed. He walked over to the window that faced the east. He felt the storms power outside.
"It grows weaker. Soon, it will be time. They won't understand why I must do this." Tirek bowed his head, "It is for their own good." a tear formed at the corner of his eye, "I can't let it destroy the world without fighting back." his gaze swept down the mountians to a distent valley, "Dream Valley..." -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Tirek..." Majesty stared up at the distent mountians, "You must find the crystals. I know your plan. Goddess help him..."
"You are still up?" Battlefield asked, entering the room, "You should be sleeping."
"I couldn't sleep. Good acting, in the throne room. We have to tell Grogar about Tirek's plan." Majesty walked over to Sunstar's bed, "They, the guardians, are lucky he and Grogar showed up when they did. It attack so brazenly. Without the guardians, we're next, unless Tirek's plan works."
"I hate having to rely on Tirek. I know he means good now. this affects him as well as us. I wish we didn't have to rely on him to carry out the spell." Battlefield sighed, "We should at least let the kingdom know."
"We can't. That would cause a panic and lead to more problems. the less they know, the better." Majesty shook her head, and set the tassles of her princess hat flying.
"This sucks, royally. I work my soldiers and watch them train and be happy. Yet I know that their lives will change drastically with the awakening." Battlefield replied.
"We just have to hope Tireks plan works." Majesty smiled.
On her bed, Sunstar twitched.
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Post by Marbletoast on Feb 22, 2010 17:57:46 GMT -8
Somehow I missed this story completely! Oh dear! I really like the premise idea! I've never heard anyone do something with the Rainbow of Darkness. That it's both sentient and good both surprised me; I'd love it if the beginning had a little more historical substance so we can learn about that more. All that bit at the beginning in bold where you are just explaining? It might be cool if you worked it into narrative, turned it into part of the story, perhaps like a prologue or something? I don't know, just a thought. It feels like you have some great ideas for what already happened, but we don't really get to see them. :3 The siblings are also a cool concept, turning black like that because of contact with the rainbow. I was surprised there was a summerwing in the family. I'm curious if that's a perfect normality in your canon, or if she is adopted or something? Either way, the whole crew seems cool! Were their names always "Dark Something" or was the "dark" added later when they turned black? I read chapter one (have to hurry out, but I'll come back and read the rest. ^_^) It's an exciting beginning, for sure! A little more to the beginning of the chapter would be helpful, maybe--it goes a little bit quickly into the action. I don't feel like I know the characters yet or anything before the big plot device falls (literally) into their laps. Still, sounds like an action packed story line. It also ends very...abruptly. I know it's supposed to be a cliff hanger, and that's good (and it's a good cliffhanger, leaving us with the only possible names of the enemy), but it feels like it needs a little more resolution, a kind of conclusive feeling--like, maybe something like, "The dark siblings felt a sense of forboding fill the room" or something slightly less cheesy and more expository than that, but maybe you get what I am trying to say? XD I am not good at explaining myself... There were quite a few places where the new sentences were not capitalized. Might just want to do a quick read-through to edit little minor things like that for readability. XD That's a pretty paradoxical line right there...it amused me.
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Post by sunstar on Feb 22, 2010 20:22:42 GMT -8
Thanks for all the tips! I actually wrote this back in seventh grade. I do agree that the first part needs some work. I plan to rework it so that it'll flow with the chapters better.
The reason they have Dark as the first part of their names is that it is their family name. Dark Beauty was in fact adopted. She was abandoned by her parents because of her dark coat and wings. They believed that Beauty was a harbringer of bad luck. She was found by Dark Light and brought to Lights father, Darkstar, who took her in and raised her along with his five other children. He didn't have an easy life, trying to make enough to feed six mouths and keep a roof over their heads.
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Post by Marbletoast on Feb 22, 2010 23:16:44 GMT -8
No problem! I am impressed when anyone has something from middle school that is allowed to see the light of day; all my writing from that age is horrific. XD And okay, that makes sense, about the adoption. So they were all born black, and not turned black by the rainbow? Or just Beauty? Okay, got to chapter two! Things are getting quite interesting, of course, especially the development of Tirak as a villian able to turn these legendary guardians into gems! I was also really surprised to see Grogar show up, as a good guy, apparently! And with a family! I'll be interested to see more of that unfolded along with the story line. Lots of little interesting hints--what is Majesty's history with Sunstar? Will Gusty or Minty win...? Heh. Again, though, I felt like things kind of blew past me. I got a bit confused and wished for some more details; not give aways of future revelations, but just something to let me know a little more about where we are, who characters are, transitions, that kind of thing. I feel like I am expected to know some things that I don't going into it, like who Nana is and why Grogar is good now, how Grogar came to know about Tirak and the gems, and how he got them and stuff. I feel like we're missing a few really interesting pieces! Just fleshing out each scene a little more would help it develop. The grammatical issue of uncapitalized sentences remained; it must have been habit forming at the time of writing. "mare's" A little awkward; "Ribbons nuzzled him as a baby pony began to cry from within the house" perhaps--at first I couldn't figure out why she was "nuzzling him as from within the house" I was really confused by "un hoof" ; maybe either find a new way to say it, or make it un-hoof or something? ...followed by shouts of, "She's a guardian!" Oooh, that's an interesting line...make me curious! That's not something you hear every day. XD Switch of tense there; "Nana might have been nearly ancient,..." This really threw me for a loop. I have no objections to have semi-automatic weapons in ponyland if you want them there, but with absolutley no prior hint that we'll see weapons like this, we're suddenly given a very specific Earth gun in the hooves of a pony. Maybe some previous hints towards un-magical weapondry, or even a slightly less specific description of the gun itself, would make it stick out a little less obtrusively. I like how your ponyland is very different from most other fanfic I read; it's great to see all the different takes on the 'canon' of the cartoons!
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Post by Marbletoast on Feb 23, 2010 6:07:33 GMT -8
And, finished Chapter three! So many plot developments and twists and surprises! Awesome! I am not totally sure I am following everything right, so let me know if I'm way off or something, but so far I am liking the way the plot is headed. It is very mysterious and unpredictable, I think. I certainly didn't except to hear from Majesty that she is on the side of Tirek, who may or may not actually be a villain after all. Hmmmmm!!! Can't wait to see where it goes from here. You are keeping me guessing. Some of the same comments apply here as well as before; some grammatical and spelling errors that can be easily cleaned up if you ever do a second draft (if you want me to point of specifics, I can, but I figured maybe you weren't going to go back into it right away or anything), and the need for a little more development, fleshing out and clarification of events and scenes. I want to get to know the characters more, and my brain wants to speed of revelations and surprises to slow down just a bit so i can chew on the ones we've just learned. The chapters feel a little more like vingettes; all three of the current chapters I think could be contained in one chapter, and this one so far has the most resolute ending as well. "On her bed, Sunstar twitched." That feels more conclusive than the endings to the other two. Anyway, you don't have to mush them together or anything. Just kind of a random observation! Who is Bray? Maybe include a wee bit of description, even if just to tell us if he is a pony, a human, or something else? Keep it up!
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Post by battlefield on Feb 24, 2010 18:10:51 GMT -8
Glad to see another chapter is up. I really like this story. Hope to see more!
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Post by sunstar on Jan 28, 2011 15:19:26 GMT -8
Bump! Found it here! Am going to rewrite it!
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Post by battlefield on Jan 28, 2011 15:21:46 GMT -8
Good to hear! Looks like the Lexicon saved the day for you, Sunny.
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Post by sunstar on Jan 28, 2011 15:30:02 GMT -8
It did! (Does cartwheel in excitement)
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Al1701
Series
Starving Meteorologist
Posts: 2,073
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Post by Al1701 on Jan 28, 2011 15:31:46 GMT -8
Looks interesting. I'll be checking it out when you rewrite it.
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