"Double Rainboom"

[Al1701]

Well, after much hype, Double Rainboom premiered last night. I think it reveals a glaring problem with brony fan animations. The people "writing" these things aren't writers and it really shows.

Let me start with the production value which was fantastic. The animation was terrific. The voices weren't exact copies of the originals, but worked. The music and sound were good.

What made this animation hard to enjoy was the writing or lack thereof. The pacing was all over the place from slogging to breakneck. The story stopped dead in its tracks for a prolonged Derpy gag. Then it suddenly turned into a Power Puff Girls episode because...quantum.

This animation also shed Rainbow Dash in a really negative light. She's braindead in this as she just gulps down a potion Twilight made because she wants to fly faster. Then she flies down at Ponyville at top speed and destroys Ponyville with her titular double rainboom (which is similar to Cobra's super weapon in the new G.I. Joe movie (launch something at the ground at high speed.)) Then, after a random trip to Townsville because Lauren Faust worked on Power Puff Girls, she gets back and sees the destruction she caused stroking her own ego and her reaction is to write a letter to Princess Celestia about not taking stuff.

Long story short, Double Rainboom is like a mansion built on a bad foundation. Despite looking awesome, it collapses under its own weight.

[djlamar2]

The CN cameos were great. But yeah it could have used a little creativity. I wanted to see RD fight more with the ppgs

[Zero]

what was this again?

[sunstar]

Fanmade episode. It really was crappy. You can animate something easy. A show is not about the animation. The animation can be stellar, but the writing can suck horribly. Before I was chucked at brought on board to help ghost write TF Prime, the original idea for Sick Mind was horrible. it was much like this fanmade episode. I decided to completely overhaul the whole thing because even I knew the original idea just couldn't be saved. They wanted Megatron to get into someones head. I thought the idea out throughly. Megatron was to be shown in a coma, and even he can't simply teleport his mind into someone else. I decided that Megatron has something the Autobots need. To get into his mind, I brought in the idea of using a device of some kind. I selected Arcee and Bumblebee to be the retreval team. That left me three autobots back at base. next step, is the why. Why do they need what Megatron has? I realized that now TF show has ever done an episode about sickness. What if an autobot at home is sick and Megatron has the cure? Next, who will be the sick autobot? Ratchet couldn't do it as he was needed to try and treat the sick autobot. That left me Bulkhead and Optimus. Which would it be? Who would be enough for Bumblebee and Arcee to brave the decepticon warship? I tried it with Bulkhead but then I found out about TMI, so I decided to switch Bulkhead with Optimus. Bumblebee is very loyal to his Prime. He would venture into Megatron's mind if it met finding the information to save Optimus. Arcee wold fear this device. Finally, what to have Optimus catch? My idea was Cybola, the cybertronian version of Ebola. The offical writer came up with Cybolic Plague after Hub felt Cybola was too graphic for the target audience, and ebola doesn't have a cure. (Although Ratchet looked awesome in his hazmat styled suit, in which Bulkhead asked how Ratchet managed to fit the thing inside his med kit. Ratchet left the question unanswered.)

What I am getting at is that you can't just throw together a bunch of ideas and expect it to work. You have to plan out the whole story and make changes as you make it into an animation. Scripts are changed all the time in the business. Don't expect the entire script to make it into your animation. parts of the script will be cut out. For Sick Mind, we decided to cut out the scene where the Autobots spend the night watching over Optimus as they wait for the cure to take effect. This did not affect the storyline other then altering the sunrise clip to a sunset clip. You will have to make changes here and there. Don't expect all the writers and ghost writers to agree. When that happens, check the lock on the beer cuboard, and start taking everybodies temps, than pray the world is not ending. Don't expect everything to come out perfect. TF Prime does have its animation errors.

To name a few, Bumblebee and Arcee both have shots of them without their wings. The Decepticons have loisianna inside Texas with a louisianna shaped hole where it is supposed to be. Optimus had his faceplate up when shown in the rubble of the base, then it was down when Smokescreen drags him into the cavern. Megatrons normal arm kept appearing on him after he 'upgraded' to the Prime arm. Smokescreen was second to last to leave eventhough he claims he was the last to leave. He should have been spat out of the bridge where Ratchet was sent, not back at base. He also should have arrived too early and have been caught in the attack.

To be sucessful, you need good writers and good animators.

[Zero]

*tries to make notes, raised hoof*
Miss Sunstar is this gonna be on the test?

I still dont get what the hype is all about for this....

[Al1701]

Double Rainboom was being trumpeted as the first fanmade episode to be made to show quality with professional animation, sound mixing, scoring, etc. Zach Rich was making this as his senior project at the Savanna College of Art and Design. He managed to get permission from Hasbro and Time Warner to use their properties.

Unfortunately, where they were unprofessional was the writing and directing. One of the animators said Double Rainboom was originally 11 minutes, but Zach decided to let the crew add their own ideas which totaled up to 18 extra minutes of footage. It's also clear they never polished the script with pacing issues throughout. I was never able to get into the Power Puff Girls sequence.

I've described this as a fever dream, and Rainbow Dash waking up sick in bed with everything being a nightmare would have been a better way to end this than her actually having destroyed Ponyville and the forced lesson.

[Sassaflash]

Aw that sucks. I was looking forward to seeing what they came up with. I figured they'd have used English majors or something for writers since it was for a college project. That's going to grate when I watch it, as I write myself.

*watches*

... Well that was a colossal waste of time. It's terrible. Random crossovers, random ooc stupidity, the facial expressions and reactions were over the top... I know it's a cartoon, but it was still noticably over-animated in my opinion.

Also, the bass line in the theme song was wrong.

Just something I noticed, as a bassist. >.>

I quite liked the multicolored flames and Pinkie's extended talent, though.

[sunstar]

No test, Zero.

This was made by a college student? This looks more like a bunch of preschoolers got together with monkeys and this was the result.

[Al1701]

I'd say it's more of a case of too many cooks spoiling the broth. Zach needed to maintain better creative control. He probably should have treated the script with more respect. Granted, it's the one part of a show that the audience will never see the direct results from, but it's the foundation on which the show is built. No matter how great your animation and voice talent are, the whole thing collapses if the story doesn't work.

I wonder if there should script tutorials for bronies. Screenwriting seems to be a universal issue in the fandom.

[Zero]

I will wait to see it before I pass judgment
*gets heavy bolter ready*
just in case

[Dr. Pain]

Just as anyone could expect from fanmade episodes.

[Al1701]

Okay. I finally got my video review of this done.

[djlamar2]

Nice review and yeah what you said is right. It needed some work.