Rainlands Ch1. (R) (4 parts)

[Lili]

I still didn't think of a normal name... There will be violence, no too much sexual themes at all, I think and a bit of cursing, so I put an R on it. And I'm only finished with the 1st part of the chapter, so you'll have to wait for the others... Sorry :/ You are free to comment between the parts, thought!

Part 1.

Silent and cunning is the most horrible sin of all.

The little transparent clouds swam in the depth of the blue sky. The stars shone so bright, that the field near a little house started to bloom with thousands of white flowers. The silence and the calmness of the night sang a lullaby to a newborn girl; the trees wheezed a soft melody of the forest, the wind rustled the grass and the flowers, the nightingale sang in a light soprano, the grasshoppers chirped about the river, all those sounds combining into the orchestra of the night. While that orchestra played, without any sound, without any rustle, a light flashed in between the tree branches.
- Danger, danger! – the forest started to whisper.
- Danger, danger! – screamed the nightingale, flying away.
- A murder, a murder! – shouted the clouds.
- A sin! A sin! – cried the stars.
The white flowers became half red, as if their leaf tips were dipped in blood…
The lights went on in the little house. The little girl was crying on the top of her lungs. The mother took the little girl in her arms, whispering soft words to calm her down.
- Honey, I think I heard something outside… - the father said and flew down the stairs, flapping his snow white wings.
Fathers’ hooves stepped on the dry grass making it crack in the now very silent forest. His breathe became rapid, his heart started to beat faster as he lit his path with his horn. The light touched somebody’s blue hoof. It was covered in blood. Father gasped and ran forward only to see a six-winged pony, leaning to a tree. Father ran to her, trying to get a pulse, but it was obvious she was dead. Father sighed at the horrible and sad scene, the mare royalty was pregnant. It must have been the last month. “This is so sad… And to think our daughter was only born a few days ago. They would have been the same age…” the father thought and already started to take the body up on his back, so he could bury it, but then he heard a sound. It sounded so much like his little daughter crying, that he forgot about the body and ran to the direction of the sound. A few hundred meters away, in the soft green moss, lay a six-winged pony boy and cried softly. Father was so surprised at the sight of the little angel, so he just stood there amazed for a few moments. The baby seemed to have noticed father and stretched his little hooves up, looking straight into fathers eyes. Father smiled and softly took the little boy into his arms. The baby chuckled and tried to reach fathers horn. Father laughed:
- Well aren’t you a little rascal… - he said and then remembered the dead mare – Oh my God, child! That is… was your mother!
Father started to walk back to the body, lightning his way with his horn.
“I don’t understand! It was right here!” father thought when he returned to where the body should have lay. Something moved above him in the trees. Father quickly turned around, searching for something up there with his light, but it didn’t go as far as the tops. He carefully observed the surroundings once again and then slowly started to head home. The little child fell asleep in his arms.

A young pitch black unipeg jumped off the top tree branch and softly glided down to the ground. He put the body of the queen down where she was before and knelt on his knee:
- I’m sorry, my queen, but I have to leave you here… - he said with a hollow voice.
- It’s here, I heard something here! – The unipeg heard voices from the distance.
- Hey! Hey! – he shouted and took off to the deep blue sky.
He flew over to the field and saw the lights of a house. They shone softly over the white field of flowers. “Well, Raven, now it just leaves you to check on the prince…” the black unipeg thought while approaching the house.

- Bloodflower? Is that her name? – Raven heard a masculine voice from the inside.
He flew closer to the house and softly landed on the roof, trying not to make a sound.
- Yes, darling – a woman answered – they gave her the name of Bloodflower… But what will we do with the little one? We can’t just walk around with a young member of the royal family…
- I know, honey, I thought this over. We’ll hide those two unnecessary pair of wings.
- You are willing to do that? It might take more out of you than you think…
Raven heard nothing but silence for a while.
- Be careful, darling. – the female said.
- Don’t worry, I will… By the way, we don’t know his name…
- He’s Lightrain.
- How do you know?
- They told me…
Then Raven didn’t hear anything but the wind.
- Oh darling! It’s like they never were there! Are you sure they will come back when he knows who he is? – the female asked.
- Yes, I’m absolutely positive, honey. – the male answered, panting.
- Oh, Spark…
Raven flew by the window and peeked. There were a white unipeg with bright red hair and a dark gray female pegasus with a stunning yellow mane hugging each other. And then Raven noticed the little prince sleeping in a little bed. But he was not alone; there lay a little pegasus girl, very similar to her father, just beside the prince. “So you’ll still have a sister, my little prince.” Raven thought and took off, promising himself he will look over this family.

[sparkler]

I like this story idea, it was very intriguiging, but I was kind of confused by some parts. ^_^;;

I would try introducing the characters by name before you have them talk. Also, say which one is talking a bit more often. I like script-form, but in some of your story, I couldn't really tell who was saying what. Who is Raven? What are Mother and Father's names? Is the young foals Mom named Royalty, or is that just what she is? And why was he born with six wings? o__o

Inquiring minds want to know! ;D

-§parky

[Lili]

ok, I edited the first part a bit... And here's the second!... I hope you'll understand more when you'll read this one D:

Part 2

The king is dead. Long live the king!

- What a tragedy! What a loss! Oh, young king, little brother, Jade… You will be missed forever, as will be your wife, Starnight, your son Linghtrain, and the still unborn child in your wife’s womb! We grieve your death! In those few years of your life you made this kingdom thrive! We will never forget your deeds and will cherish all you have given us: love, hope and happiness! Now we, his brothers, and I, Dragonfly, speak for them all, must follow your footsteps of wise and just reign! The lots will be drawn today at dusk!
The crowd shouted “The king is dead! The king is dead” while the pitch black seraphim walked through the balcony door back to the castle. “The lots will be drawn at dusk…” Dragonfly thought while flapping all of his six wings. He walked through the long corridors, turning left and right, it seemed as if he’ll get lost, but he knew exactly where he was going.
- Dragonfly! You bastard! You killed them! YOU KILLED THEM! – Dragonfly heard a voice and the stomping of hooves getting louder. HE was closing in.
BAM! Was heard through the hall; a light green seraphim pony, obviously bigger and stronger than Dragonfly, was standing on the poor fellow, crushing his chest.
- Get... Get off me, nimrod! – Dragonfly shouted, pushing his oldest brother off.
Out of all his brothers, this one was the feistiest and the strongest of all. “It HAD to be Thunder I met first, didn’t it…” Dragonfly thought frowning while standing up.
- I didn’t kill ANYONE, especially Jade. I loved him! Like you did!
- I saw your love, you double-crossing… - Thunder didn’t finish, because Storm walked in and stopped the fight.
- Guys, stop it. Nobody killed anyone, we all need to calm down, put ourselves together and at least TRY to think about this kingdoms future! – Storm said, shaking his striped gray and black head.
“That little know-it-all… I can’t miss this chance. That little tragedy took more out of me than I thought it would.” Dragonfly thought looking up at Storm.
- At least Storm has some common sense in him left... – Dragonfly said, giving Thunder a despised look.
- Why you…! – Thunder started, stomping his hoof to the ground, but Storm stopped him.
- Now is really not the time and the place, Thunder! And you, - Storm looked at Dragonfly – please, let’s go, we need to get ready.
Storm started walking away from Thunder, Dragonfly after him. Thunder was left there alone. “That double-crossing... Rats, I can do nothing about it! There was nobody there, nobody saw them die. It might as well have really been an accident…” Thunder thought walking away. His lonely footsteps were heard through the empty halls.

- Sire! Sire, please stop moving your wings, the mantle will fall down every time and this will take forever! – a young earth pony said, putting a crimson red gown onto Dragonfly’s shoulders again.
- Fine, fine… - he growled through his teeth.
“This is unacceptable! A servant telling me what to do…” he thought frowning and looking at himself in the mirror.
- No, this won’t do. I want a fiery yellow cloak! – Dragonfly shouted to the earth pony when she was finished and ripped the crimson one off.
- Yes sire… - the earth pony sighed, mumbling that Jade wouldn’t ever talk to her like that.
Dragonfly heard her mumbling and frowned even more “What was so special about that baby…?” he thought.
Somebody opened the door.
- Hey, Dragon, you ready? – Dragonfly heard a playful voice.
- Oh, it’s the famous Joker… What do you want?! – Dragonfly shouted, not even turning around to look at his brother.
- Oh, it’s nothing, Draggy, It’s just… They’re starting without you! – Joker said, laughed and ran away.
Dragonfly coughed and swiftly turned around
- WHAT?! – he shouted and looked at the earth pony, – Well, what are you waiting for, you lazy mare?! Where is my mantle?!

There were six of them: Dragonfly, Storm, Thunder, Joker, Moondancer and Flare. All of them were in mantles, all of them sitting each on a different chair around a round table. The throne stood empty, but not for long…
- People of Rainlands, the draw started! – the six brothers heard from the distance.
But none of them moved a muscle. As the tension grew unbearable, Moondancer hawked and stood up.
- I hope all of this will end with this draw… - Thunder said silently.
- Me too. – Storm replied, sitting right beside him.
Moondancer reached for the urn with the papers and took one out. Slowly, but certainly he unfolded it. Everybody stopped breathing for that moment.
- Empty. – Moondancer said and sat down, as if a ton of weight was taken off his shoulders.
- A shame, really… - Joker said and swiftly stood up.
With a fast move he took out the paper and held it in his hooves for a minute, afraid to unfold it. “Oh, I hope it’s not me…” Joker thought and put the paper on the table:
- I can’t… Somebody, look if it’s empty… - he said in a hollow voice.
- Are you okay, Joker? – Flare said, standing up and putting a hand on Jokers shoulder. They both sat down.
- Yeah… I’m okay… - Joker answered not being able to take his sight off of the little piece of paper.
A moment of silence, of tension.
- Enough with this garbage… - Thunder said and stood up, taking Jokers piece of paper, - Empty!
Joker even sighed from relief and put his head on the table.
- I’m next… - Thunder said and took out his piece, - Empty… - he said without emotion.
Thunder sat down and sighed. There seemed to be less tension in the room now; Flare and Storm stood up at the same moment.
- I will go first, – Flare said and reached for the urn. He wasn’t as fast as Thunder – Empty… - he said with a sign of relief in his voice.
Thunder started to worry “Only two left… Oh please let it be Storm, please! I won’t take it if it’s Dragonfly… And look at him, sitting there, waiting for Storm to draw… He looks as if he’s glad nobody’s King yet! Oh that double-faced…” Thunder thought and didn’t notice how he started to stomp his hoof. Everything started to shake and the urn cracked.
- Thunder! – Storm shouted.
Thunder snapped out of his thoughts and looked around. All brothers looked at him with anger. “Great…” he thought and hid his face in his hooves.
- Empty! – Storm shouted.
Thunder couldn’t believe his years “Empty…? That means…”
- Go on, Dragon, draw! – Joker said, smiling. Everyone was smiling.
- Stop! – Thunder shouted, not believing they were doing this.
- Thunder, please, calm down… It’s not our decision, it’s a draw… - Storm started.
- Yeah, Thunder, deal with it! – Flare added.
Everyone was looking at him with anger again.
- Fine, make ME the bad-guy! – Thunder shouted, standing up and walking away.
“I can’t believe this… Dragonfly - king? That tyrant, that… that double-faced, slippery, good for nothing cunt?! Oh no… No, no, no…” Thunder thought, while he started packing only the most needed supplies.

Thunder walked out of the castle when the crowd started to shout “Long live the king, long live the king…!” Thunder stomped his hoof, stopping a few meters away from the fuss. He thought of looking back up the castle one last time, but then changed his mind “I want to remember it with you standing there, Jade, not that scum… And I’ll do everything I can so that monster suffers for what he did to you.... Even if it’s the last thing I do!” Thunder promised himself and walked away from all of it. Walked away, because it was the right thing to do.

[sparkler]

Oh wow, much better! I like the way this one was written, you could tell exactly who was speaking. ^_^

I love your little plot intricacies!!! Though I didn't quite understand why Dragonfly was so evil, or perhaps I need to read installment one more carefully.

Poor Thunder, I feel sorry for him.

-§parky

[Lili]

Ok, in this part, the story continues in the royal Rainland castle a month after Dragonfly became king. Just so you know, there are other countries in my story, like Diamond Peeks, Ice Islands and Ponyland. Also, Aquatica, an underwater country, but they all live kind of separately and rarely visit each other, that's why Joker is so scared of other kinds of ponies besides pegs, unipegs and earths. In Rainlands the biggest population of ponies are pegasuses.

Part3

THEY dance in the moonlight.

Dragonfly sat on his throne, waiting.
- Dragon? When will she be here? – Joker asked, sitting on a couch not too far from the throne.
- Have patience, brother. It all goes as I planned, even better than I planned. Imagine, for us to gain the power of dragons…
- Yeah, yeah… As if they ever existed. – Joker murmured, lying down on the couch, bored as hell.
Dragonfly snorted and flapped his wings wile standing up.
- Hey, where you goin’? – Joker suddenly asked, noticing that Dragonfly was standing up.
- I’m going to make sure, that Flare is doing what I asked him to.
- You got FLARE involved in this?! – Joker shouted, jumping up from the couch – He’ll freaking tell everyone about what we did! You, out of all people, should know that he has a loose tongue…
Dragonfly laughed and slowly turned to Joker:
- That’s why he’s spreading rumors about Thunder wanting to become king and probably killing Jades family.
- You… Damn, you’re a genius, Dragon! – Joker laughed, happily shaking his head.
- Tell me what I don’t know… - Dragonfly said, snorting.
Joker looked over Dragonfly despicably while he was walking away and mimicked Dragonflies last words in a very unpleasant manner. Dragonfly stopped for a second, thinking that he has an idiot for a sidekick. “But who in their right mind would want a smart sidekick? Those kinds are cunning and you have to watch their every move… Too much work.” Dragonfly thought wile walking through the corridors. The halls were long and a few earthlings were repainting the walls from a light green to a deep dark crimson color and replacing the silver decorative veins with golden ones. Dragonfly was frustrated, because the work was slow and he wanted for it to be done by the time his future wife arrives, but earthlings were only half-way through.
- Work faster, scum! – Dragonfly shouted, kicking a young pony boy, who was obviously sick.
The young pony fell to the ground, coughing hard. Dragonfly walked closer to him, looking down on him with his fiery eyes:
- What are you doing, working in that condition? Do you want everyone in here to get sick? – Dragonfly roared, stomping his hoof. A little spark of fire fell down on the boys shoulder.
- No, no, no, my king – the young pony said through coughing, trying to get up, but Dragonfly seemed to like the boy lying down like that.
- If you cough at me one more time, you’ll end up in the dungeon, like your father! – Dragonfly hissed, pressing the young pony to the ground with his front hoof.
- My lord, I have to feed my two little sisters and I’m the only one who can work, I…
Dragonfly got frustrated; it seemed that his eyes started to burn.

There was a crack and then a howl of pain heard through the corridors.
- This is what happens to all that even TRY to disobey me! – Dragonfly shouted.
The boy quickly stood up ran away from the frustrated king. Dragonfly panted, not believing someone just came to him and smashed him on the head with an empty bucket of paint. A drop of blood ran over his face. A blue pegasus lay on the ground, severely burned, probably dead. It seemed that his spine was broken in every way possible. All the ponies that were watching, quickly resumed their work, fearing Dragonfly will notice them staring. All they could do was work, not letting out a sound and as fast as possible, fearing for their lives.

Dragonfly passed the garden, still looking for Flare, but because of the incident with the workers, he was, there are no other words to describe it, pissed off. A few gardeners bowed to him, but Dragonfly didn’t even notice.
“There he is!” Dragonfly thought, when he noticed a sand yellow six-winged pony that was scoring the sky. Dragonfly loved flying for fun, but only when he was a little kid. Now flying for no reason seemed a childish game, improper for a royalty. He sighed and strongly flapped all of his six wings, jumping up at the same time, shooting to the sky like a bullet.
- Flare! – Dragonfly growled, flying after a little yellow dot over in the distance.
Flare didn’t seem to hear. Dragonfly got even more pissed.
Another strong flap of black wings with crimson wingtips and Dragonfly already pushed Flare to the ground. When Flare noticed Dragonfly flying towards him at an enormous speed it was too late to turn away, so he braced for impact. It was more painful than he thought it would be.

Dragonfly watched how a medic finished patching up Flare.
- What is wrong with you today? I heard you fried one of the workers today… What did he do to you? – Joker asked silently, sitting besides Dragonfly in the waiting room in the hospital.
- He smashed me on the head, that’s what he did… This little thing might have even been a try to kill me… Thunder isn’t sleeping… How long has it been? – Dragonfly asked, already calming down a bit.
- A month, Dragon, a month. Do you think it would be enough to think of a plan like this? – Joker replied. There were seven guards in the hospital, not letting anyone near the king and his brothers.
- For Thunder – no, it would take at least three months for him to organize such a plan… But what if he found himself help? I’m not taking any chances.
- That’s why you brought guards here? – Joker asked, looking over one of them in the end of the corridor. It was a bright red pegasus.
- No, Joker, they will be the ones that’ll show me if there is someone plotting against me.
A light pink earth pony with a stunning turquoise mane went out of the ward; she went to the king and bowed gracefully.
- Lord Flare is all right, he only had his wing damaged a bit. Nothing to worry about, it will heal in a few days, milord.
Dragonfly looked the mare over from head to tow and then he looked at Joker, who was obviously drooling over the mare.
- We should go, Joker. Thank you, miss… - Dragonfly said, waiting for her to say her name.
- Miss Wingsong, sire. – the young doctor said, bowing a goodbye to the lords.
They walked over the city, the guards walking in a square, protecting them from all sides.
- You know what is my policy with these kind of attractions, don’t you, Joker? – Dragonfly asked his brother, smirking a bit.
- Oh, I see what you mean… - Joker replied with a smile on his face – You want her, you take her, is that right?
Dragonfly nodded, thinking of why his future wife was so late. But then he noticed the flags of the Crimson Lands, otherwise known as Diamond Peeks in the distance.
- What’s that flag? – Joker asked, noticing a red flag with a black dragon on it.
- This is the flag of Crimson Lands, idiot. – Dragonfly said, fastening his walk.

Joker never believed in dragons, but here he was, talking to a dragon pony, a surprised expression not leaving his face. And there was Dragonflies future wife, a dragon pony named Firestorm. She was bigger than Joker and looked even more threatening than Dragonfly himself. Dragon ponies were obviously carnivores, like felines, purrs, valkyries and wolf ponies, because they had those scary sharp teeth. Though Joker had only seen felines before, now there were valkyries all over the place, they were the royal guards. Joker tried to make out if it is a male or a female valkyrie, but it seemed impossible, as they looked all the same with their manes looking like they were made of solid fire. But the worst part was meeting a Flare pony. It was not a pony even, only a fiery substance. Joker never even knew about this kind, neither had he believed there were fully elemental ponies. In other words, Joker was frightened. “Oh my god, what it this dung?...” he thought constantly. It seemed that whatever direction he looked at, there was something new, unfamiliar and frightening. He started to run towards his room, but every time he turned around a corner, there was a valkyrie, a dragon pony or a flare, what made him jump in one place and run to another direction. Finally, after running like that for more than fifteen minutes, he ended up bumping into Dragonfly.
- Joker? What in the name of the rainbow are you doing? – Dragonfly asked, obviously very happy about something.
- Uhh… - Joker dragged out – I… Nothing, Dragon… - he said, shivering at the word dragon.
- You should be congratulating me; they decided that I will be given the power of the dragons tonight! – Dragonfly exclaimed happily.
- To… tonight?! – Joker even jumped out of surprise – How? You’re the member of the royal family, yes… But… Tonight? They have their own traditions, you told me yourself! You told me, that it should take about a week before they grant someone power! – Joker shouted, scared that his brother will soon be even scarier than his fiancée.
- Calm down, Joker. I was wrong. They choose the day according to their Dragon calendar or something… They are very religious, you see, and do everything their dragon gods tell them to. And the day of Dragon God of Fire will begin at midnight! Isn’t it wonderful, Joker? – Dragonfly said, his grin becoming bigger with every word.
Joker shivered like a leaf. “Was it really necessary to marry a dragon princess? Was it really necessary to gain more power than he has? Is it really okay to be scared for your life and for that sacrifice your brothers?” Joker thought, looking Dragonfly in the eyes.
- Yeah, sure, Dragon, it’s wonderful! – Joker said with a sour grin on his face. “I just hope that I won’t regret this…”
- Regret what, seraphim? – Joker heard a light voice behind him. He turned around and almost shrieked with fear. It was Firestorm.
- I... Uh… - he mumbled and then realized “She reads minds?!”
- I do when the persons spirit is weaker than mine. In your case – you’re the weakest person I’ve ever seen, but you still have a chance to get better… I can’t believe it Dragonfly, are all ponies here so… disbelieving? – She almost spat out the last word as if it was the most terrible thing to say.
- Don’t worry, Firestorm, not all of them. And we’ll make sure that they believe more, sooner or later. – Dragonfly said smiling what seemed like a soft smile.
Joker crouched and slowly walked away, hoping that he’ll be left alone at least to calm down. “I just hope he won’t be what Thunder thought he would be. He may be harsh, but up till now, this month was good, nobody had any complaints… Well, maybe except those few locked up because Dragonfly was pissed… But he’ll just let them go, when he’s calmed down about what they did… right?” Joker thought, going to his room.
He opened the door and gasped:
- What the..? – he only managed to say and two valkyries giggled, their manes shining in the darkness. These two were obviously women. “Dragonfly really knows how to cheer me up!” Joker thought and locked the door behind him.

[Marbletoast]

Conspiracies and coups! Very interesting! I like the interaction of Dragonfly and Joker, especially Joker starts to wonder if this was all such a good idea after all in the last installment. You have plenty to keep readers curious for more...

Probably because I am accustomed to the quotes, the dashes are throwing me a little bit placing what is spoken and what is narrative, but hopefully I'll get the hang of it. ^_^ I saw a few little typo/spelling errors, but's it's almost midnight and I didn't have the brain to pull them out. Are you wanting that kind of critique?

Keep it up--very interesting murder-mystery! I wonder just how many of the brothers are actually good guys and bad guys. And I wonder how the little prince is doing...

[Lili]

Ok, here's the 4th part, finally Sorry if it's confusing... But it's jumping from place to place... The things are happening almost at the same time. The last paragraph is a few hours later after Jokers runaway. And Marbletoast, if you can, please, if you find any mistakes, post them here, I don't mind Dx Thanks

Part 4

Fire creates and fire destroys.

Thunder felt a sting somewhere near his heart. Something was wrong. He jumped up off of his bed and, after running to the other end of the room, started to shake a young black pegasus with a stunning bright green mane and same green stripes on his front hoof. For the first time Thunders heart was filled with so much fear. He was panicking.
- Thunder..? What’s wrong? – the peg asked, turning on his back and yawning. Thunder constantly looked around nervously.
- It’s Dragonfly. Something’s wrong… - he only managed to say and with shaking hooves started searching for something in his drawer.
- Oh, come on, how could you know? He’s miles away! – the peg said, sitting up and yawning again.
- Oh, you don’t even know the half of what brothers can feel… Especially the royal family of seraphim… Look, have I ever been wrong, Tox?! – Thunder asked, turning to bright green eyes almost shining in the darkness of the night. Toxic only sighed and stood up.
- Fine… But we have to warn Shadowstar and Ra… - Toxic didn’t finish, Thunder suddenly flapped his wings and pressed Toxic to the ground. After a few seconds Toxic blushed like he never did before:
- What the hell..? – Toxic said, but then the ceiling came down just where he was standing.

Dragonfly was beyond himself with excitement. To think that the power of dragons was only a few centimeters away from his nose was too much. He giggled and couldn’t stop smiling. If he hadn’t have been taught to behave, he would have pranced around happily, like a child. But he stood there and thought that he couldn’t bare another second without touching the bright fiery gem on the statue. The gem resembled the heart of the dragon that was made of solid gold. It was called the eye of the fire by the ponies from Diamond Peeks, and Dragonfly craved to have it all to himself. The combining of any powers with Seraphim powers was forbidden by the past kings of Rainlands. “But who are they? Dead kings! I am the one that makes rules right now!” Dragonfly thought and finally heard what he was waiting for all this time. The sound of the drums made his heart beat even faster and every moment looked like it was in slow motion. Dragonfly slowly reached for the gem and it seemed like the time stopped before he touched it. And then it happened.

- Thunder! Thunder, its here! – Toxic shouted. The little wooden house was in flames. It looked like the whole world was on fire. Shadowstar couldn’t believe her eyes. One moment they were peacefully sitting by the fire and the other they were attacked out of nowhere by ponies that lived over the ocean.
- I see it! – Thunder shouted, taking a deep breath for a sonic attack. Raspberry jumped up and started to shoot freezing rays out of her white horn.
“What is happening?” Shadowstar thought, thinking that her eyes are deceiving her.
- Shadowstar, look out! – Toxic shouted in panic, watching the flare pony run straight into his wife. – SHADOWSTAR! – Toxic howled, his body couldn’t move from fear.
Thunder pushed Toxic from being burned by another fireball that a dragon pony let out. Then he let out his howl. It looked like a strong gust of wind; the sound couldn’t be heard, but the waves shook the ground for a moment. The dragon pony screamed in pain and fell down on the grass. The flare that hit Shadowstar was looking around nervously. Raspberry was battling two Valkyries. Thunder helped Toxic up:
- You take the flare, Tox; Shadow should soon be here to help you; I’ll go help Berry… - he said in a commanding tone, all that was left for Toxic was to nod and agree.
Thunder jumped up into the air like a bullet and let out another sonic attack. There was a scream heard from that direction. Toxic thought only of Shadowstar. “Oh, darling, please be okay…” he thought and was glad that they left their child with his cousin for the weekend. “I couldn’t bear loosing you two…” he thought, starting to circle the flare. The fiery substance that had a form of a pony turned to him, hissing. Toxic thought that it was the scariest sound he had ever heard, but continued circling the pony. “If you’re made of solid fire, then water should be painful for you…” Toxic thought and stopped, smiling at the flare, then flapped his wings as hard as he could
- Hey you, firework! Betcha can’t reach me you brainless spark! – he shouted, turning his behind to the flare. It seemed to get the idea and fired up even more, becoming even lighter.
- You will regret what you said when I fry your wings to nothing! – the flare shouted, two fiery wings appearing on its back.
“Uh oh… I thought they couldn’t fly!” Toxic thought and all that was left was to run away from the flare, into the forest where he hoped to push the flare into the little river that ran nearby.

Joker almost shrieked when small threads of fire spread out through the central square, surrounding all those that were there. “Is he dead?” Joker thought, looking at the huge fire pillar that was glimmering where Dragonfly stood. A few moments of silence and confusion: everyone was holding their breath. Joker looked at Firestorm and shivered; all of the ponies from Diamond Peeks were frightened of something. “If they are frightened… What should we do?” Joker thought “How come they didn’t expect this?”
- My loyal servants! – Joker heard from the center of the square and slowly turned his head to that direction.
- No! This cannot be! Seize him! – an old dragon pony shouted; he was the one that led the ceremony.
- What’s happening? – Joker asked, looking at Firestorm. There were tears in her eyes.
- He took all of it, he took all of the power of the flames… He killed the dragon... – she whispered, bursting into tears.
Then there was a commotion in the middle of the square; the pillar of fire was gone already and the small threads of fire disappeared little by little. “Killed the dragon?” Joker thought and flew up, trying to make out what was going on in the middle of the square. Suddenly, there was a flash and screams of pain. The people started to panic. Joker caught a glimpse of his other brothers taking off into the sky “I wonder who else he invited today…” Joker thought and started landing. Suddenly he heard a voice behind him:
- Out of the way! – he heard, and then Firestorm flew by him at an enormous speed. She was just falling down to the center of the square. Another bright flash from where Dragonfly was and Joker finally saw him.

Toxic flew in zigzags, circles, up and down, doing anything not to be hit by the flares fires. “Oh, come on, Toxic! You can do it!” he thought, constantly looking back to see where the flare is. “It’s not too far away now… Not too far away…” he thought and then, one moment, and he was already spinning, falling to the ground. It was so sudden, that he didn’t even feel pain. He heard a loud crack when he fell down. He couldn’t feel his lower body. He panted loudly, trying to get up and run, trying to survive.
- Well well well, I guess you won’t be able to fly with those wings of yours anymore. – Toxic heard a voice above him.
- I don’t understand what we did to you… What was it that we did, that you are trying to kill us?! – Toxic shouted, still trying to get up. His hind legs weren’t moving.
- We are just doing our job, birdie. We are serving our kings and queens, just like you are. – the flare answered and started to gather a fireball.
- Oh yeah...? Our king was killed by his own brother that wanted his place. We don’t serve a king like Dragonfly, we don’t serve a king without a heart and we don’t serve a king without morals! So what did we do? – Toxic asked through his teeth, turning to the flare.
- You just know too much… - the flare said and released the fireball.

Joker thought he will die. He thought that these were his last moments of life. He was so scared, that his vision got blurry; he didn’t know what he was doing. All that was in his mind was fear. Fear that was destroying him from the inside. He could think nothing, he could say nothing. Only his body automatically started to move away from the source of that fear. Dragonfly was smiling at Joker and his fiery colored eyes became solid fire, no pupils or whites. The look was burning Joker’s mind and the smile… Two rows of razor sharp teeth were shining in the night. Joker started to flap his wings more and more; his legs started to move by themselves. He was running away. He forgot everything he was, everything that was around him; he was running away, but he didn’t remember from what. All he could see were stars above him and the dark forests below. And then there was darkness.

Shadowstar couldn’t see anything through tears; it seemed that her chest was ripped open and something was clawing at it. It was hard to breathe. Raspberry was constantly by her side; she said nothing and just dried Shadowstar’s tears. Shadowstar was very grateful for that and after a few hours she was ready to listen to what happened. Thunder was sitting by the fire and looked at it thoughtfully. One of the valkyries was sitting there too; the other lay on the ground with the dragon pony, sleeping. They all were bruised and bandaged in places, but it seemed that they all didn’t care about the pain. Shadowstar took a deep breath and sat beside Thunder. Thunder looked at her with sad eyes. Shadowstar thought that if he didn’t have to be strong for them, he would cry too.
- He’s beyond our help, Shadowstar… I’m not a healing pony, I can do nothing about it… - Thunder said and stomped his front hoof on the tree trunk he was sitting on. It cracked.
- I know, Raspberry told me… - Shadowstar said and tears appeared in her eyes again. – He won’t be able to see, walk and fly… - she said silently, her voice broke.
Thunder nodded and sighed.
- Now about what happened…? Dragonfly seems to have broken the code that lasted for centuries. Am I right, Blue Ruby? – He looked at the valkyrie. Blue Ruby's hair shone blue in the darkness and her majestic ruby red coat looked like blood.
- Yes, Lord Thunder, Dragonfly has killed and taken the power of our most beloved god, Xiuhcoatl. – the valkyrie said in a very strange accent.
Thunder and Shadowstar looked at each other, and then back at the valkyrie.
- Who? – they both asked at the same time.
- Did you not read the books of belief? Xiuhcoatl is the dragon that represents all the powers of flame. That power can either create or destroy, and Xiuhcoatl was chosen to be Dragonfly's guardian, as his element is fire.
- You mean there really are such things as dragons? – Thunder asked, amazed by what valkyrie was telling.
- No, Lord Thunder, dragons do not exist in their physical form anymore. But their spirits live in all of us, they guard us, giving us the power of the elements.
- So there are no dragons… - Thunder said, not fully understanding what Blue Ruby wanted to say.
- No, I think she means that all the powers we have are the gift of the dragons, given to each race who knows how long ago… How many dragon gods are there? – Shadowstar asked.
- There are two kings of gods, Urith, the god of light and Eyphah, the goddess of darkness. There are their four children, Xiuhcoatl, the god of fire, Ghaia, goddess of the earth, Ehecatl, the god of wind and Leith, the god of water. And these bore Gaeaf, the god of ice…
- Ok, ok, I get it, there are a bunch of dragon gods there… So, how do we stop Dragonfly and give the power back to the dragon-fire-spirit-thing?
- We can not do anything about it. Only Urith and Eyphah can stop Xiuhcoatl. – Blue Ruby said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Thunder sighed heavily:
- Ok, so how can we ask those dragon gods to stop him? – Thunder asked, obviously irritated by all that spiritual talk.
- We can not, only the priests and priestesses can. – valkyrie answered with the “isn’t it obvious” expression on her face again.
- Great… Just the thing we needed. Isn't there an easier way to do this? – Thunder asked more himself than the valkyrie.
- But it is easy. We only need to reach the castle. There are five priests there. – Blue Ruby said with a smile on her face.
Thunders and Shadowstar’s jaws dropped.
- The castle...? – they both asked at the same time.

[sunstar]

very good story!

[Marbletoast]

Yay! Things are really starting to heat up...er, literally. o.o I still like Joker a lot and wonder what in the world will become of him; he's in a very interesting position. And I was so sad when Toxic got blasted. D; I like how at the end they speak of him without his name, but we still know who they mean. Nicely done.

I'm not REAL sure who all the characters are; there are so many, I can't always remember who is a brother, etc. Maybe throwing little reminders in now and again will help keep the long list of names straight. :]

And I do have some grammatical corrections, but let me just say, that for writing in a language that isn't your first, this is AMAZING! I mean, I have issues construting one coherent sentence in Indonesian. x{ And you're writing a story! Well done!

He jumped up off of his bed and started to shake a young black pegasus with a stunning bright green mane and same green stripes on his front hoof.

I'm unclear about their relationship to each other, physcially--were they sleeping the same room? At first I thought the same bed...? I am very unclear about where they are in this scene.

If he wouldn’t have been taught to behave, he would prance around happily, like a child.

Replace "wouldn't" with hadn't and add "he would have pranced"

It looked like a strong gust of wind, the sound couldn’t be heard

Run-on; period instead of comma

- You take the flare, Tox, Shadow should soon be here to help you, I’ll go help Berry… -he said in a commanding tone, all that was left for Toxic was to nod and agree.

Run-on; replace all commas with periods except the first

“Uh oh… I thought they couldn’t fly!” Toxic thought and all that was left is to run away from he flare,

Comma after "thought"; replace "was left is" with "was left was"; add a "t" to "he"

A few moments of silence and confusion, everyone was holding their breath. Joker looked at Firestorm and shivered, all of the ponies from Diamond Peeks were frightened of something.

Run-on: maybe use a semi-colon instead of a coma after "confusion"; second sentence also a run-on: replace the comma after "shivered" with a period

- No! This cannot be! Cease him! – an old dragon pony shouted, he was the one that led the ceremony.

"Seize" instead of "Cease" ; period instead of comma after "shouted."

Then there was a commotion in the middle of the square, the pillar of fire was gone already

Run-on: period instead of comma after "square"

Joker thought and started landing. Suddenly a he heard a voice behind him:

Take out the extra "a" in the second sentence

Toxic flew in zigzags, circles, up and down, just not to be hit by the flares fires.

Replace "just not to be hit" with something like "doing anything not to be hit"

Joker started to flap his wings more and more, his legs started to move by themselves, he was running away.

Run-on: replace the commas with periods.

he was running away, he didn’t remember from what.

Place a "but" after the comma

Shadowstar couldn’t see anything through tears, it seemed that her chest was ripped open and someone just clawed at it.

Run-on: replace the comma after "tears" with a period; the end of the sentence maybe could be reworded for fluidity, something like "someone was clawing at it"

Raspberry was constantly by her side, she said nothing and just dried Shadowstar’s tears.

Run-on: replace comma with period

One of the valkyries was sitting there too, the other lay on the ground with the dragon pony, sleeping.

Run-on: replace the comma after "too" with a period

Shadowstar took a deep breath and sat besides Thunder.

"Beside" with no "s"

Shadowstar thought that if he wouldn’t have to be strong for them, he would cry too.

"Didn't" instead of "Wouldn't"

Thunder said and stomped his front hoof to the tree trunk he was sitting on.

"on" instead of "to"

Blue Rubys hair shone blue in the darkness

Ruby's needs the apostrophe

Xiuhcoatl was chosen to be Dragonflies guardian, as his element is fire

"Dragonfly's" instead of "Dragonflies"

Blue Ruby said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Comma after "said"

- Great… Just the thing we needed. Isn’t there no easier way to do this?

"Is there no easier way" or "Isn't there an easier way" instead of "Isn't there no easier way?"

Well done, can't wait for more! ^___^