NumiTuziNeru
Oneshot
a l?gp?rn?s j?rművem tele van angoln?val.
Posts: 286
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Post by NumiTuziNeru on Jul 28, 2010 12:25:13 GMT -8
Here Rest yourself Your soul And listen
How the stars always shine Even in the rain
How the Sun sings lullabies To her beloved children
How our lives intertwine Throughout our being
How a small favour Can be the world
How in the confines of space There exists a chance of hope
How one once called a coward Can still find courage within himself
How an iron fortress Will break under the want of freedom
And how even in the caverns of nothingness There is a tiny glow-worm tenderness That shines eternal, for the weary traveller who wanders by.
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Post by Marbletoast on Oct 21, 2010 9:43:51 GMT -8
I feel like I have read and commented on this before. . .but. . .apparently not. D:
Either way, I love it! You really found a knack for presenting grandiose truths in little, uniquely phrased nuggets.
Love that. A perfect picture a small gesture meaning so much.
I like this one a lot, too. I was wondering if "there still exists" might solidify the concept more, the idea that despite being confined and looking like there isn't hope, there really is?
I love how you word that. <3
This is the only one that felt a little out of sync with the others--like the others had a 'lesson' to them, but this one didn't. Maybe I misunderstand though. Also, the sun + lullabies seemed a incongruous imagery, since lullabies are (typically, anyway) a nighttime image.
Still, all around, really nice! You have such a way with words--you can present them disjointed in such a way that they link up in new ways.
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NumiTuziNeru
Oneshot
a l?gp?rn?s j?rművem tele van angoln?val.
Posts: 286
|
Post by NumiTuziNeru on Oct 22, 2010 3:07:03 GMT -8
Your compliments and critique make me go glittery with glee.
[spins around in a circle]
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Post by Marbletoast on Oct 26, 2010 6:29:10 GMT -8
Your poetry makes me. . . sparkle. ;3 In glee.
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Post by sunstar on Oct 30, 2010 18:13:24 GMT -8
cute!
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