Where Bobdude Watchs MLP Tales

[bobdude]

And how much of that is supposed to be accurate as oppose to the animators cutting corners is anyones guess.

[Notes]

We always have to consider that with Tales. X)

[bobdude]

Update time?

Update time.

KICK IT!

So, it seems that aside from Tales very adorable/cheesy opening, this time around we get us one of those ‘We’ll be right back’ messages thingies to start episode 9 off, The Plays the thing. Animation is taken from And the Winner is, to be more precise, it’s the seesaw scene between Sweetheart and Clover. After that segway of cuteness, we get the intro into the episode proper, with an opening shot of Melody’s house.

Turns out the episode is NOT written by one of the previous writers, but by a woman of the name of Donna Harman. All searching on IMDb’s gotten me is that she’s worked on Up Up and Away for tales, and on something called Big Bag in 1996. And that’s it, honestly if this and Up Up are anything to go by I wish this woman had written more as I liked both her outputs (I know, shocker of the century, Bob dude liking a Tales episode) On the upside, I’ve finally figured out who did Clove Dad’s voice, feller by the name of Richard Ian Cox. No idea who the hell that is but I thought it was worth sharing (I like his voice ^^).

Oh, and spoilers, if the a thread on the site is to be believed, one miss Brigitta Dau did the voice of Clover’s big sister Meadowlark. Which is good because I was driving myself cra cra trying to figure out who voiced her. I like Meadowlark, she’s like a working class version of Princess Cadence, plus her relationship with Clover is very touching. But more on that in later episodes.

Where was I again? That’s right, Melody’s house, which incidentally is green, two stories with an attic (I think?). Also has a heck of a nice red roof. So we then see Melody in her room, with a scarf wrapped around her head like it’s some fancy piece of cloth or the like. Melody: Keep your eyes on me twinets, no one can play the princess better then me.

Have no idea if Twinits is a word or not, but that is what I shall henceforth call all twin ponies. So Spa pony sisters are Spa twinits, ect. Anyways, after Melody breaks out her fake Isle of Pony accent (which is as far as I can figure the closest equivalent of Britain/Wales in the Tales verse) Mel Mom comes in and remarks that her daughter needs to clean up her room but Melody just brushes it off, saying that stars don’t need to clean their rooms, that they have assistances for that sort of thing. You know it funny, but this scene really hit home how much Melody is a sort of combo of both G4 Rainbow Dash and Rarity, while still be her own character at the same time. Something to think about folks. After Melody flops on top of her bed like A STAR.

We then cut to some time later, with an exterior shot of the school (just noticed that giant gold bell hanging above the door) before getting an inside look of the theater. You know, the Tales school really is much bigger on the inside then the outside would suggest. From the entrance we have a gym, then a cafeteria, the classrooms, bathrooms, and now this theater. Normally I’d make a joke about getting my head canon/fanfic Mrs. Hackney mixed up with the show Hackney, but honestly, maybe Mrs. Hackney really IS Susan Foreman (aka the Doctor’s Granddaughter) from Doctor Who. Hey, mrs. Hackney’s va IS from the UK, so it could work some people.

Would sure as heck explain the size of the school and her teaching subjects if nothing else. Either way here’s a link to the fanfic in question, and no I have no idea if I’ll ever restart/finish it one day. bob-dude.deviantart.com/art/T...Abob-dude&qo=1

Right, so pointless plug aside, Patch it seems is first up for play auditions. You know, given that Tales ponies aren’t one much for clothes (seriously, I think the ponies of Equestria wear clothes more then they do…. Ironic) you got to wonder what their version of thinking everyone is in their underwear is.

Patch says that she thought the material was ‘kinda dull’ so she’s decided to improv this Imbicile.

Mrs. Hackney: Shakespony has been considered classic literature for centuries.

Pointless speculation time people! So given that the closest thing to the UK in this show is the Isle of Pony (which I can only assume is suppose to be like the Isle of Wales, hence the name?) I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that Shakespony (who could or could not be a guy) lived there centuries ago. Also going to assume that Mrs. Hackney is from the Isle as well, because accent.

Patch says that her idea will be better, and proceeds to go all Errol Finn on us, jabbing her sword at imaginary foes. Patch’s brain does not work quite like everyone elses’ does. The only other pony we see audition is Clover, who says her bit and then trips into the current on the way out (such is the life of being your universes version of Jar Jar Binks Clover). Mrs. Hackney thanks all of the girls for auditioning and says that there are no small parts, only small actors. Well, that and small costumes Mrs. H. and we cut to the next day where all of the Tales Mane Six (which I am going to try to make my official/unofficial nickname for these girls from now on) are crowding around some funky guitar background music, and the blackboard that has the list for the parts for the play.

Why that list is in the theater is beyond me.
bob-dude.tumblr.com/image/76047704823

(shouldn’t that paper be out in the school hallway or something? Or located closer to the theater exit or office or whatever?)
Melody has the role of the princess/narrator, and is thus the star just like she wanted to be. Really, her expression here says everything. Just look at that smug little mug, I wanta pinch it, it looks so cute!

24.media.tumblr.com/151adc196...bjlzo1_500.png

Melody (thinking): Thank Pony Christ I’m one sexy pony.

Bon Bon asks if Melody feels like the luckest pony in the world, and it seems that much like the old and lame version of Obi Wan from Star Wars, Melody doesn’t believe in luck.

Wonder if I can’t channel some of Young Obi Wan to get her out of her smug funk? (waves hand) You need to go home and rethink your life.

… Welp, that didn’t do anything. Guess my Mids aren’t high enough to use the Force. Oh Well.

Clover has the role of the guard (because Clover is totally the type of pony you want put in change of protecting stuff. Hey just cuz I love Clover doesn’t mean I can’t poke fun at her)

Clover: Oh well, at least I got a part.

Um, Clove, no offense and all but I think that you and your friends were the ONLY ponies who auditioned for this plaything in the first place. I don’t think Mrs. H had much choice.

Bon Bon gets the honor of being the lame/old Obi Wan of the play. (Pop Culture Vader: The Hipster side of the Force is strong with this one.


Bon Bon: Just what I always wanted to be: a chubby old hag. I’d like to take this time to note that Bon Bon’s preparation for the role is solely about making her look old, so from an in universe standpoint Bon Bon is indeed the ‘fat girl’ of the group, even if the animation doesn’t always show it (and yet the Equestria Mane Six all have the same body type, even the athletic ones. I should Imbicile about this on Tumblr!).

Starlight gives Bon Bon some words of encouragement, which she then applies to the others, and then says that they need to go backstage to get everything ready for the show.

Also, I am now a StarBon Shipper.
bob-dude.tumblr.com/image/76045923148
Because the heck with G4Bon Bon and Lyra.

Melody, however, chooses to pass on the whole ‘work’ thing and has instead opted to leave her friends to bask in the awesomeness of being the ‘star’. Well, got to give Melody this much, girl’s got the Rockstar attitude down if nothing else.

Patch: Well how do you like that? The pretend Princess is acting like a real princess!

Twilight Sparkle: HEY!

Patch: OH STUFF IT AND GO BACK TO YOUR LAND OF CONSTRUCTION PAPER ‘MRS.WE’VE GOT FIVE SEASONS AND A SPIN OFF FRANCHISE!’

So we cut to backstage where Bon Bon is looking at herself in the mirror and wondering how anyone’s going to believe that she’s a 75 year old woman-mare- … Whatever.

But Starlight is all like, that the magic of theater my phat pony! (Note: Starlight does not actually sound like a gangster here)

It’s the like again peoples; it’s random song out freaking nowhere time!

Pinkie Pie: MY FAVROITE!

So this episodes song is titled, fittingly enough, The Magic of theater. All the girl’s VA’s (save for Kelly Sheridan (Melody) obviously) really do work well together when they sing, so kudos to G4 Spike/Mare Mayor for doing as good a job as she did back in the day. The song itself is quite good, Willow Johnson (Starlight) starts it off is the primary singer, and she’s got a really truly lovely voice (there’s a reason why I love Perfect Pair as much as I do). The harp/string instrument in the beginning also pretty soothing on the ears and I think it really adds a nice touch.

Also, we have this: *pic

Meanwhile in the real life 1992, thousands of MLP Tales fan start a furious letter writing campaign about how turning Starlight into a pegasus has forever ruined the show.

And how is it an elementary/middle school is able to have better special effects then the Equestria version of the Great White Way? bob-dude.tumblr.com/image/76046198254

But I kid (we’re shown that pegasus Starlight is just a result of being pulled up by some rope, just like the singing pony actress from RTM).


So with Magic Theater ending with a bang (not kidding here either, song ends with smoke effect, fireworks, the whole nine yards) we cut to the Rainbow Salon, which is that building that I was baffled by back in my review/commentary of The Masquerade. Looking back, I am a moron for not putting it together sooner.

Starlight is doing Bon Bons old lady hair for the play (with Patch doing make up) when Melody trots on it in all of her 90s swag.


bob-dude.tumblr.com/image/76046099004

The 90’s version of Rarity everyone!


Starlight puts the finishes the final touches with Bon Bon's make up and mane and says that she (Bon Bon) will look great at dress rehearsal.
Melody: But not as good as me!
the girls are very impressed with Melody's new mane style (apparently Starlight's mom did it, dang Star Mom's got some serious skillizes Mchizzles). Starlight of course brings up the fact that Melody should have been helping out with the play (masks for the ballroom scene for all the none of you who care) and Melody just gives a 'Don't talk to ME that way peasant!) glare before saying that she's got an interview with PTV later that day.
You know, one does have to wonder how desperate for content the Tales version of Good MTV is when it's interviewing the star of a local elementary/middle school play. Then again I could always assume that PTV is just a local Coltenvillie station and the like. Clover (who is sitting across from Bon Bon) asks if she can have that style (It's times like these I wish I could draw, then all the Tales Six would have that fancy pancy mane style).
Melody, however, dramatically opposes such an idea, insisting that only she, the STAR, can have this fancy mane style.

There can be only one pony rocking a mane that fancy folks, one mane to rule them all n and that jazz.

So, pop culture references aside Starlight dismisses this idea, insisting that Clover can have any mane style she damn well wants, and the two of them get into one of thos 'uses a living person as a tug of war rope' like you see in these sort of situations. (No she can't! Yes she can!)

Poor Clover, is of course, the rope. Really, this picture pretty much sums up her lot in life I think. *insert pic

Needless to say, after having been spun around like a top (why do I get the feeling both Clover and Equestria Spike would get along surpsingly well?) Clover is willing to take a different mane cut.

Melody celebrates her victory by blowing a raspberry and walking off.

... Really Mels, just, REALLY? You’re seriously going to stick out your tongue? What are you, five? I mean, that's childish even by your group's vaguely defined age range of 10 to under whatever the hell Ponyland considers the age for minors. I mean, what's next, are your eyes going to turn yellow while lighting shoots out of your hooves or something?

Patch comments on Melody stuckupendness but Starlight's already working on a plan.
pictured: the face of a criminal mastermind. bob-dude.tumblr.com/post/7605...y-that-schemes

We cut to later that day, where everyone is hard a work setting up for dress rehersal and both Teddy and Ace sneak in to get a preview of the coming atractions.
Ace is just here to see Melody (who, ironically, does not care for Ace in the slightest. Girl must be aware of how much of a jerk is can be. Basically, Ted and Ace will be acting as our heckler muppets for the rehearsal.

Melody starts her story, showing that the princess is apparently also the narrator as well. WHAT A TWIST! Maybe she's just been getting into her character’s egoistic state of mind? ...Naw, girl just been letting her head get to big for herself.

So the dress rehearsal goes about as well as you'd expect, the spot light on Melody moves about constantly (forcing Mels to dash back and forth), the door to one of the background props remains stuck, ect ect. It gets so bad that even Ace can't stop himself from busting a gut in laughter.
Eventually Melody can take no more of these screw ups and calls off the dress rehearsal.
Starlight: Something... wrong Melody?

(small aside here but with that hat Starlight reminds me of the female villain from that one direct to dvd Don Bluth movie, the one that has a big song number and turns into a giant dragon by the end. ... Now I'm imaging Starlight turning into a big chubby dragon. Damn you my twisted brain! (shakes fist at his head) )

Melody: I come off like an amateur!

Patch: Something wrong with the props, lighting, sets?
Bon Bon: Nothing matters behind the scene, only the star's important? (damn, Mel's not the only one who can be cold when need be it seems).

Mrs. Hackney asks just what in the blazes is going on, and Starlight (who has resisted the urge to turn into a giant dragon and just eat Melody. Great first expansion now freaking vore (shakes head in shame) ) says that the fake princess has royalty mistreated her former friends.

Upon hearing the words former and friends Melody can only sputter in bafflement as the Patch, Bon Bon and Starlight all trot off.

Later that night at the corner of Faust and Zchlery streets (aka the Rainbow beauty Salon), Bon Bon, Clover, and patch are slumming at the countertop while Starlight does her ice cream parlor gal job thing. Incidentally, I really like the look of the place, bob-dude.tumblr.com/image/75795740818


Looks like a 90's version of Anarold's place from Happy Days, without being so painfully 90s like the Max was in Saved by the Bell.

Starlight suggests turning on the TV to see Melody's interview, but ever the cynic, Patch has this to say on that subject: Why? So she can tell all of Ponyland how important she is? F

Clover, however, figures that she might say something nice. You know, Clover really is kinda like the Jar Jar of her universe, she’s a natural klutz, he’s a natural klutz, both are optimistic in their outlooks on life, ect.

Also, night shot of the Rainbow Beauty Salon, because it’s very pretty.
bob-dude.tumblr.com/post/7605...salon-at-night

Pictured: Prettiness.

Starlight turns on the TV (small box with bunny ear antennas, don’t see those any more that’s for sure)

After Dazzle gives a short intro of Melody (bringing up that she’s a member of the Rockin Beats, she asks what’s it like being the star.

Melody, to her credit, has had some time to digest that slice of humble pie she had earlier that day. She says that she learned a lot about being a star, and that one actress doesn't make a play, it takes the work of everyone to pull off a successful show. Clearly these girls don’t do one act plays for their fourth year of theater like they did back in my High School of Yorktown. But I digress, the rest of the Tales Mane Six are very happy that Melody’s finally put her ego at the door and is willing to make the play as good as it can be.

We cut to later that night, where Melody and the rest put on their play. It goes much better this time. Some things I thought that were note worthy was the fact that Patch was playing the prince role (given what her first VA went on to do with Ranma ½ I can’t help but find it funny) and does a pretty good guy voice, and the fact that Melody’s character was the one who slew the dragon with a fancy sword, setting her people free.

So… Melody’s character was like the main dude from Braveheart, but with dragons!? Now I really want to see that play in full…

The crowd goes while and Ace is impressed with how much better the show is from earlier. Teddy; Yea, even I liked it. Hope I’m not losing my edge.

Oh Teddy, if the Fonze can go through character development, I’d like to think you could have too.

As the crowd goes wild with their cheering, Melody gives a small human-like bow while Ace appears on the stage to give her a boce of flowers, Melody accepts them, thanking him but says that a play could never work with just the star (well, there are one person plays, but technically speaking she’s more or less in the right here). The current rises and we see the rest of the Tales Mane Six. Interestingly enough, Bright Eyes appears to have been the villain of the piece, if her eye patch, big hat with a white feather in it, and red cloak are anything to go by. And for some reason Sweetheart’s wearing a cowboy hat. Maybe she was trying to do an 11th doctor cosplay and couldn’t find a bowtie in time?

Also, where HAVE Bright Eyes and Sweetheart been the whole time, I mean yea, ten minutes to tell a story and character crowding and all that, but where they just working on their individual bits the whole time?

But yea, everyone gives the crowd a way and the current closes with the audience continuing to cheer, ending our episode.

So, That Play. Was indeed a Thing. I liked that thing. The play. And Melody acting like a snooty jerk. And then realizing that her snooty jerkness was going to cost her friendships with the ponies she cared about, and then basically apologized in live TV (which is pretty awesome, though I can’t help but wonder. One could make a comparison to this episode to Maredo well (Jerk pony gets their ego deflated by way of friends messing with them) but I wouldn’t feel comfortable making that comparison. Personally happen to like Mraredowell, even if the whole costume idea does have Unintended Implications to it, as it highlights Rainbow Dash at her worst, which just makes episodes like Wonderbolts Academy all the more powerful by comparison. Plus I do think that outfit was snazzy as all heck.

Besides, Rainbow’s ego would have gotten other ponies hurt, while at worse Melody bull would have just ruined the play of a elementary/middle school. Those two things aren’t really all that comparable folks. But I digress.

So, next time we get into some REALLY controversial (and depending on how your fetishes swing, kinky) territory with episode 10, Shop Talk. Beware of potential soap boxing on my part folks, because the tone may (or may not) be a bit more… serious then normal (think my Masquerade review).

[weirdraptor]

Soap box all you want. I love your tangents.

[bobdude]

Weirdraptor! Glad you decided to join in on the fun, any particular thoughts on the past reviews? Any jokes stick out in particular? Ect, ect.

[darkabomination]

And another great Melody episode, surprise surprise. She's just so fun to watch with that ego and haughtyness.

Going back for a second to that Eqg idea, Sunset would make a nice darker counterpart to her. They're both stuck up, have big egos, and like things going their way, but Mels will realize the error of her ways.

They'd make a nice contrast, is all.

[bobdude]

Funnily, I could see Melody and Sunset butting heads, with Mels taking Human Rarity's place as the one person who tried to challenging her rule in a previous school pageant thing. Someone really does need to write that Tales taking place of human high school story one of these days... Also, one more review upload and this thread will have been finally caught up with the RPG.net thread! So once I've done that and finished editing my 9k word romance Tales fic, expect that to come within sometime next week.

[darkabomination]

I want to do it, but I'm still rather lacking in confidence for writing. But, it sounds like fun.

[bobdude]

Sometimes you just have to jump in and take the dive, ya know? I'd say go for it and do your best Dark.

[darkabomination]

Not going to be easy. Have depression, so confidence is hard to come by.

[Notes]

Yeah, depression stinks. But as an old art teacher always asked us, "What would you paint if it didn't have to be pretty?" The same goes for writing, and nobody's perfect. I'm sure I'm not the only one here who would give you a blow-by-blow review of your strong and weak points. 8)

[bobdude]

So, in the spirit of Fim;s 4th season wrapped up, here's another update! (updates, updates everwhere!)



CUE THE THEME SONG!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFMsOeWyWTY

Okay, jazz/Sax combo influence. Right decade but wrong show. I'm talking slice of life-

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR5zFiIxqSs

... Pony Slice of Life.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7FLpTAt5c4

Sigh, 1992 Pony theme.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJemSjckOJ4

There we go! That's right everyone, the fourth rate, third bit, deadman's version of Sun tzu is back and better then ever!

So my friends, now that I have returned once more among the living, what better way to kick this off then by covering one of the three more 'controversal' episodes of MLP Tales. That's right, we're tackling Shop Talk, aka the blackmail episode. But since I'm not really bothered by vaguely aged pre teen ponies using blackmail against one another, I'll just keep with the same 'happy-go-lucky' mood I've been dishing out thus far if it's all the same to you guys.
With that said, let's start this thing.
Today's episode was written by a fellow by the name of Doug Booth, who as far as I can tell this is his only episode credit. A bit of research showed that he...
But enough about the writer, let's dig into the episode proper!

We start off with a nice exterior shot of the Rainbow Beauty Salon before zooming in and seeing Star mom who is doing- who I was only assume is Mr.s Berryington-'s mane. While working Star Mom asks Mrs. B if she's heard any gossip of worth as of late. Apparently some poor mare by the name of Nettlebush not only lost her roof to the Great Off Screen Storm of 92, but her clothes have gone flying all over the neighborhood.

And a thought just occurred to me how if you think about it, the Equestrian ponies probably wear clothes more then the Tales ponies do. Conservation of Detail or just lazy animators? I leave it entirely in your hands Symor- I mean, readers.

Starlight and Sweetheart, who are nearby the hallway that separates the salon from the ice cream parlor, can't help but giggle a bit at this image.

Anyways, Mrs. B then says that: "Justin finally proposed to Moonglow."

Firstly, it's about freaking time. Was wondering when he was going to get off his haunches and seal the deal. Secondly, it seems I now owe Scappy Doo, Westly Crusher, and Jar Jar Binks a LOT of money. Welp, time to re-grow my mustaches and head to Canada.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yic7IRO9d6I

But yea, pony names in this universe are... odd. Guys seem to have normal-ish names (Teddy, Ace, Lancer, Logan, ect) while the females seem to have more fanastic names (YMLMY on Patch though, and there is always Bon Bon's big sis Misty).
Star Mom then reminds Starlight and Sweetheart that they have ice cream sodas that need making, and the two go off to make them.

Apparently Sweetheart works for the Rainbow Salon? I mean, don't get me wrong here people, I like that Sweetho- I mean, Sweetheart (stupid r34 tumblr rassas sassa frashas grumble grumble) is earning some jangles and the like (that the Tales version of Bits btw) and I suppose it would explain all those boxes in the Battle of the Bands episode. You know what, I got no issue with this.

Moving on, one scene transition later and both Star Mom and Mrs. B are drinking some pretty tasty looking ice cream sodas. Ah, the wonders of a lack of child labor laws and using your own kin free labor (truly Star Mom and Granny Smith would get along well in this regard). ... And now I'm thinking of Star Mom dressed as a Robber Baron of old, damn you my strange brain! (shakes fist at head)
Star Mom soon finishes with Mrs. B's mane and Mrs. B is so impressed that she now wants a new dress to go with said mane, and invites Star mom along for a most excellent adventure... in shopping. Eh, guess they can’t ALL involve time machine phone booths.

Star mom has apparently had one ice cream soda too many and accepts, under the logic of not having any more appointments for the day. then again, it is her salon/shop so if she wants to close earlier, I guess that's her right to do so. Eh, I'm over thinking this. Moving on.

So before Star Mom and Mrs. B leave for the day, Starlight asks if she, Sweetheart, and Bon Bon could bring everyone over to do their manes while their out. Star Mom, who must put a lot of trust in her daughter, says sure, so long as they sweep up afterwards.

We cut to later, youtu.be/j1xtpsY0_LI
where the rest of the Mane Seven have gathered. Interestingly enough, Patch is looking at her mane in the mirror by herself, whether this is because she's a tomboy of the group or because there was an odd number of girls/not enough chairs to go about is left up to the viewer.
And it's here that we see Starlight start to mimic her mom, and not in a good way, as she starts asking the others if they've heard any juicy gossip as of late. And thus, we get our song for the episode, A Juicy Story.

It's an all Mane Seven song, and I KNOW I say this about all the songs but this one is pretty cute. I like the visuals and I do always enjoy it when all the girls are singing together, so that's a plus right there.

First off we have Clover, where we learn a pony by the name of Madme Persaron (Spelling, HOW DO YOU WORK!?) who once had a love interest by the name of Count (note, apparently the Tales verse still has Counts, must be from the Isle of Pony would be my guess)... Appleloosa? I THINK that's the guys name but with Clover's singing voice I'm not totally sure, so don't quote me on that.

So Patch is up next and her tidbit of gossip is how her neighbor accidentally turned her hair green instead of blond, and how both she and her family are now under quarantine.

You know folks, as much as I pride myself on not going after the obvious joke, I can't help myself here.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qx-yPz_P8A

Melody is up next and gives us the juicy tidbit that Dazzle (the green haired pony on PTV) apparently has a boyfriend, who may or may not be a part of the Cleveland Bays, Eh, better the Bays then Wuve Hoof I suppose.

Bright Eye's big idea of gossip, is how Mrs. Hackney apparently once misspelled a word because the boys were being, well, boys. First off, that is up there with Smart Pants the doll + paper pad for homework levels of dorkiness BE. Secondly, animators, you DO know that numbers aren't works, right? Although if that one math problem from Clover's indecisive song is anything to go by, maybe numbers ARE letters in the Tales verse?

Starlight's is about how some “stuck up pony” (we never get a name, though maybe this pony is the Tales version of the non Chubby version of Diamond Tiara?) got a D in Math.

You know what, Bright Eyes, I stand correct, THAT is the lamest bit of gossip I've heard. I mean come on, G3 Pinkie Pie could come up with something better then that, Hell, G 3.5 Pinkie could come up with something better then that!

Then we get what I can only assume is one part acid trip, one part early 90s cell phone commercial imagery while the girls belt out an almost organism-like cry. Me think you girls are getting a bit TOO much into this whole gossip thing. Incidentally, the song ends with the girls, Teddy, and Ace trying to what I can only assume is re create the opening to the Brady Bunch theme song.

As for if it supports gossiping or not, I say no. I think it's very telling that the last lyrics of the song are "So long as it's not about me."

Well, either way, with the song done with everyone realizes that Sweetheart hasn't given into peer pressured yet and told her bit of gossip for the day.

So Sweetheart decides to give it a go, and tells about how adorable her baby sister Sugar when she's asleep and sucking on her hoof.

Needless to say, everyone is not amused by this is the slightest.

Melody: Is that the juiciest story you've got?

Sweetheart: Well, she is only a baby. (Incidentally I think this is the first time we've heard of Sugar. Girl must sleep totes well through thunder storms I guess).

Bright Eyes then brings up the idea of dishing out some dirt on ole Tedmister.
Interestingly enough, Melody remarks on how Sweetheart knows Teddy better then the rest of the Tales Mane Seven. Make of that what you will people.
Patch then jokingly remarks that while Teddy might try to be a tough guy, that he's probably such a coward that he has a teddy bear to cuddle with when scared.
Everyone laughs at this idea with Melody remarking how if Teddy DID have a teddy bear how he wouldn't be able to tell anyone without his image of being the 90s version of the Fonze being ruined in the process.

Everyone then glances over to Sweetheart, who's shocked face pretty much says it all. It's one of those 'confirms the truth without having to say a word' sort of expressions.

Patch asks if Teddy really does have a T bear but Sweetheart blushes and remarks that she promised not to say anything (Maggie Blue's voice is totes the cute here btw).

This, of course cracks Patch up as she and the rest of the girls start holding hooves ala ring around the rosy while singing: Teddy has a teddy bear.
Is this mean spirited of them? Yea, but one, this IS Teddy we're talking about here people, and two, they ARE only kids/pre teens in the end. Now personally I don't have any issue with their mocking of Teddy, as it shows the girls aren't above occasionally being jerks from time to time, which to me makes them more human (then again I'm also the guy who didn't have any issue with Spiritfire's behavior at the end of Rainbow Falls when she apologized to Sorein, so take that as you will people).


So as Sweetheart bobs her head in her friends circular chant of doom, Ace walks by the store (for some reason.... I dunno, maybe the dude was just here for ice cream or something) and overhears the news.

Ace, being the Acehole that he is, can't wait to tell Lancer about this, and despite Sweetheart pleading with him, goes off to do just that. Lancer is also a jerk this episode, mocking Teddy for his bear and such and YMMV on that. On the one hand, Lancer is normally the nice guy of the Tale Trio so this sort of thing would assuming be out oc character for him.

On the other hand, as someone who's a fairly nice guy himself I can speak for experience that even we nice guys have our limits and weakness, to say nothing of the fact that Lancer is still a young boy and slightly more mature or not, isn't clearly above occasionally giving into a more base/jerk nature from time to time. That, and I just think it's nice that Lacer's capable of showing more emotion then just disapproving nice guy, but that's just me.

Sides, let's be honest here people, Teddy having a teddy bear DOES kinda sound like the punch line to a bad joke, doesn’t it?

So we cut to a soccer field, with what else, a row of American footballs. Just kidding, their soccer balls of course. Lancer is the goalie while Teddy (after pawing the ground with his front hoof, nice bit of detail there animators!)

teddy gives the ball a good kick, and Lancer misses catching it. Teddy starts a laughing, remarking that Lancer couldn't guard the goal if there were three of him.
Ace then suddenly teleports into existence (maybe the dude's like Zack from Save By the Bell and the guy can stop time.... And I leave you now with that horrifying thought), spinning a soccer ball on one of his front hooves like a basketball, saying that at least lancer (nice guy dork that he may be) doesn't sleep with a Teddy bear.
Lancer makes a very... internet meme worthy face while Teddy angrily denies having said bear of the tedness. But Lancer and Ace are getting their tease on while dancing to that rock bgm.

Teddy can only take so much insulting to his.... stallionhood? Before he yells for the both of them to shut up and leaps at the two, and we get ourselves a good ole fashioned big ball of cartoon violence. (my bits are on the Tedatior personally).

This dust cloud thing doesn't last long, as Teddy soon walks out with the soccer balls in hoof human style, while Lancer and Ace continue to laugh their butts off (what? Did you think I'd say plots or something. That would be just silly, Tales doesn't break the forth wall or anything like that so why would I mention something as off topic as story plot? …. moving on).


Meanwhile, at the OTHER home of teenage rebellion, the Trock (aka Teddy's actually very nice looking house) Teddy's mom asks him if he's okay. Oddly, she seems to just be a voice ala Sora's mom from the first Kingdom Hearts game. Maybe they have a 'voice mom' club going on, I dunno. But yea, Teddy storms into his room and is pretty justly upset.

He reaches under his pillow and pulls out his bear of comfort, and starts talking to it ala Cynthia from the Rugrats, remarking with tears in his eyes how Sweetheart must have blabbed about his secret.
Ted Mom, despite only being a voice, somehow knocks on the door and says that his 'little friend' Sweetheart is here. Is that what they were calling it back in 92? Learn something new I suppose.

So next scene is Sweetheart and teddy outside in Teddy's backyard (with a apple tree that you just know Applejack would be impressed by) with Ted accusing Sweetheart of letting the cat out of the bag. Or the bear in this case.
Sweetheart tries to defend herself, but Teddy (either justly or unjustly depending on your point of view) doesn't want to hear any of it, saying that she must have done it anyways regardless, eventually getting so mad that he 'just wants to kick something!' settling for the nearby apple tree which he bucks.

Let's see, feels guilty about otherwise sensitive secret, has rage issues, is friends with a bland guy who keeps him and the handsome, suave manipulator in check from tearing one another apart.... Why do I now feel the strange urge to mod GTA 5 with the Tale Trio in place of the main characters of that game?

But yea, because ole Teddy doesn't have enough levels in applebucking, this needless to say ends poorly for him, getting covered with apples on top of his noggin. Sweetheart, the poor poor dear, can't help but laugh involuntarily at this bit of slapstick, which just sets Teddy off further. And elsewhere in the multiverse Trevor Philips is pausing mid rampage wondering what the hell is that feeling in the back of his head.

Teddy dismisses her friendship with angry tears in his eyes (whether from apples or emotions is anyone’s guess). As Teddy trots off angrily, Sweetheart can't help but comment (in more very adorable VA from from Miss Blue) how she's just made things worse.

Now, honestly, I can't blame Teddy for his reactions here from HIS point of view Sweetheart's not only told his one big secret but is now laughing at him (unintended or not, unfortunate slapstick mishap or not) plus add in his humiliation at the park and his history of anger lashes outs in the past and is it any wonder the kid's acting the way he is?

Meanwhile, at the ice cream parlor of justice! Everyone is sitting around the countertop (well, starlight's on the job) while Starlight comments that she had no idea that Teddy, who normally acts so tough, would take this whole bear thing so badly.

Bon Bon suggests helping out, seeing as how they WERE technically the reason all this poop hit the fan in the first place and Starlight remarks on what exactly could they do to help? Bright Eyes brings up the fact that lancer and Ace are only going to keep mocking Teddy.

Sweetheart then says she has an 'extra specially great idea' but that it involves the boys babysitting a bunch of baby ponies.

So we cut to the next scene with Lance and Ace doing some soccer stuff (just occurred to me that either the writers or the animators REALLY liked soccer, then again I suppose soccer IS the best sport for an all pony world. I mean, the Tales gang playing baseball or the like would just be silly. Though G4 Ponyville DOES have that bowling ally...) but they pause when Melody and Bright Eyes show up and start cheering from them.

So we know that Bright Eyes likes Lance (she gets together with him in Roll Around The Clock) so I'm personally going with the idea that Melody is at least AWARE that Ace likes her, but as shallow as she is isn't so shallow to fall for the ole Acehole (I like to think of Starlight has just a hopeless romantic in terms of her feelings for Ace who eventually grows up a realizes what an Acehole he is).

But yea, Ace and Lancer are a bit bashful at the girls coming to cheer them on, and then Melody brings up the fact that they (Ace and Lancer) are needed for a dangerous mission.

We return to the Hall of Sweetness (aka Sweetheart's house) and enter a baby nursery with three baby ponies. Ace and Lance are, it should without saying, not impressed/happy. But to their credit, is willing to go through with helping watching over the triplets (at least I think their triplets, dem baby ponies all look the same, down to the same yellow diaper, so your guess is as good as mine people. Also, just occurred to me that Sweetmom and Sweetdad have been getting funky like monkeys, if you catch my drift www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhdNqdoHC68

Have fun getting THAT mental image out of yer brains)

So both Ace and Lance play with the three Bps for a while before Melody comes in with baby bottles and the like because it's dinner time for the Bps but the triplets don't want their bottles.
So it falls to the boys to get the baby Ps to drink their dinner, and what better way of doing that then by downing a bottle of that white milk (or whatever) goodness themselves?

But as it's not enough to drink like a baby, they have to look the part too at Melody's insistence (Most respectable ponies are into chains or rope or leather. Melody is not most ponies). So the boys don bonnets, eventually getting covered in glitter and smeared with yellow face paint for their troubles, but they seem to take it in good stride, laughing at how they both look equality silly.

Also dear reader, if you think I'm about to make any Diaper lover/adult baby cracks, then look elsewhere because 1. fourth rate, third bit, deadman's version of Sun tzu though I may be even I have some standards thank you very much in going after the obvious joke and 2. that be one of my 'liking cute things'/ on/off minor fetish (don't judge me (glares)) sort of deals. So no dice.

And then Ace has this to say, “If anyone saw us like this our reputations would be totally ruined!”

And cue the Irony Train coming in 3… 2… 1 and now Sweetheart snaps a picture of the boys with the most advance camera technology the late 80s/early 90s can offer: A Polaroid camera.

The boys are completely horrified at the idea of this getting out, as Teddy comes in a remarks on how silly the boys look.

Ace says that there is TOTALLY a good non-fetish based reason for them being dressed as they are, but Ted says if they don't knock it off that their reps will be in the same situation as his.

Ace says that they were just joking and that they DIDN'T REALLY think that a 'big tough boy pony' (apparently colts aren't a thing in this universe?) couldn't possible have a Teddy Bear'.

Teddy agrees, tearing up the photo and the Tale Trio are all friends again, with Lancer and Teddy even giving one another a High Hoof as they go off to play soccer (Teddy's the goalie this time).

We cut to later that night at Teddy's house where The Ted confines in his teddy bear that he may have to one day let the bear to Sweetheart as she seems like the kind of girl you could really get to like.

And that's the episode. How is it? Eh, it's not one of my favorites but I don't have anywhere near as big an issue with it has others might and that's honestly because I don't frankly give a damn about morals in fiction. Now, is that to say that I don't make happy Expectations, such as the awesomeness that is the Masquerade or any of the three versions of the Twilight Zone. I love all three versions of the Zone (got a number of classic zone dvds and personally adore the creepiness that is the 80s Zone opening) and likewise I enjoy the subtle treatment of Bon Bon's character in Masquerade but when it comes to stuff like the the MLP franchise... I REALLY don't care that much.

I'm very much a go with the flow sort of guy and I take episodes as they come without much complaint (Oh what's that, Applejack is overreacting in her motherlyness, you mean like how all the other mane six have overreacted at one point or another throughout the series? Characters over reacting tends to be the mane staple of the show humor wise)

As for this episode, dunno how well it tackles the concept of gossip. Never had to deal with that sort of thing in school (thankfully) so your mileage will vary for this one.

As for if you should be teaching your kids that 'blackmail is good' or not, I say no of course not. If you say that should Tales teach kids that 'blackmail is good' then I say you really shouldn't be getting your morality system from talking pastel colored min horses of ANY sort quite frankly (I mean at least Doc Savage has a good, if cheesy and long, code of conduct to live by).

Basically, and as much as it pains me to reference it, think Peter Griffin's speech from family guy on letting TV raise your kids and how you should take some responsibility for what they watch and the like and you'll have my thoughts on the matter.

So basically for this episode, Your Mileage Will Vary. If you're THAT bothered by the blackmail thing individual reader, fine and fair enough even if I DO think you're making mountains out of mole hills personally.

Me, I won't raise a big stink or reply to you if you do, because I just get the feeling that will lay the way of 'Star Wars fanatic' levels of discussion, and I do NOT want to go down that route. So much like Oda, creator of One Piece, I wish to keep this party like atmosphere going as next time we a taste of what happens when pranking goes wrong, horrible, horrible wrong.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUWcNZHtMDo


In other news, this thread and the RPG.net thread are now FINALLY in sync with one another! A CELEBRATION I SAY@

[darkabomination]

Nice review. That episode does have a pretty nice song and it's fun. Not particularly instructive for that hypothetical tween girl audience, but hey what fans this show does have are grown up now, so doesn't matter a whole lot.

Cracked some chuckles at this one, the gags at finding the wrong themes and the comparisons amused me more than usual for some reason.

[bobdude]

Glad to see that I got some laughs out of ya Dark, expect the next review sometime next week.

[Notes]

Yay!